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this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
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Few years ago I changed my nick on PSN because I coudn't stand my old one anymore. I choose a name that sounded feminine to say the least. Unicorns and shit, don't ask. So naturally people thought I was a gurl or at least super gay. I felt the change of behavior immediately.
In Destiny 2 alone I got revived way more often. People went out of their way to run across the open world map just to get to me. Damsel needed rescue I guess. I got a lot of invitations to Raids "Hey, we are LFG and we can explain everything to you if you want to". I got these messages while standing arround the main hub. Doing nothing. While wearing the Raid exclusive Exotic on my character for everyone to see (fucking Eyes Of Tomorrow is almost as big as my char). I got called "bitch" and "slut" many times...come to think of it, that wasn't new. Party invitations out of nowhere, chat invitations out of nowhere.
In Warframe some guy gave me an item for half the price for no apparent reason, after that he send me a chat invitation, I declined and he send me a PN wishing I would get raped. Another one I thought was afk in a mission, but no. He was just typing a message to me: "Hey, how are you doing? You new to Warframe?" Again, me jumping around in a highly optimized Nekros/Atterax build...
Sooooo online gaming is full of psychos. I didn't question that but it was then when I fully understood how bad it was. There are a lot of women playing games, some even play Call of Whatever is cool atm. They just stay quiet and play eighter with friends or with other women. There are nerds out there who are beyond insufferable.
When I was about 13 or 14, I revealed to my WoW friend (who I'd been playing with for months) that I was a girl and within a day he went from being my cool friend to someone who was offering me raid gear in exchange for talking dirty to him through Ventrilo.
Nearly 20 years later and I refuse to let anyone in on my gender. It's dehumanizing that we can't even play a game without being harassed.
I often play female characters and occasionally have the same experienced.
Recently i started a new game, someone helped me with something that I thought would take like two minutes, but it went on and on and he was friendly and helped me further. When we were finished after at least an hour, he said something which made it obvious he thought that I was a woman. I corrected him and he said "oh, lol" and immedeatly left the group. So fucking weird.
It's also funny to me because i never even look at usernames, neither in games or reddit, lemmy, etc. don't know why, but I just skip over it. So I don't even come to think who the person might be. Only when I'm in a group and have adress someone specifically I read what the names are.
The only time I look at usernames is when someone says "thanks for the advice cumspanker3000" or something like that
I typically use masculine names when playing multiplayer games to avoid most of the misogyny. I also pretend I'm mute so I don't have to use a mic.
We used to do that intentionally to get free shit.
this is sadly how men are treated differently irl as well