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You are right, and the fact federation is perhaps overplayed or emphasized when talking about something like Lemmy doesn't help.
The regular users don't care, as long as the content is available. Which unfortunately isn't quite the case yet (with no disrespect to developers, I think Lemmy is something I'll stick to for a good while)
The landing page at join-lemmy.org should lead straight into active content, and then let users choose an instance once they're ready.
I am particularly motivated to ditch Reddit and yet the first time I saw that page I figured I was going to need to configure a bunch of shit to get started.
So that's one major issue that needs to be addressed. I'm sure it will be in time.