Also, even when you actually get an error message (which you probably had to dig through the awful mess that is the event viewer... Seriously, the only update they've made to it in the last twenty years was to split a bunch of things into a ton of individual logs that are more than painful to dig through), it's cryptic (if it tells you anything at all) and pasting it into search gives you nothing relevant, and quoting it gives you nothing at all (even the part that's obviously the generic part of the error), or if it does, it's a couple hits with people asking for help and either getting no replies, unhelpful replies that misunderstand the issue, or tells them they're asking in the wrong Microsoft support forum

Like... Come on, Microsoft. You clearly coded this error in the operating system. Put at least one page in documents online with at least something useful about it...