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this post was submitted on 09 May 2024
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Company-wide email: "We've had our best year EVER and it's all thanks to YOU!"
Me: "Great. Can I have a raise?"
Company: "Oh, we can't afford THAT."
"Due to current market conditions . . ." is the line my group has been given. There never seems to be market conditions where the workers get to win.
Market conditions for me but not for thee...
"here's a layoff"
Best we can do is a pizza party
We don't even get those any more.
Best we can do is mass layoffs and a strictly enforced return-to-office policy
I wish you were joking.