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Lemmy is a worse platform for women than Reddit was
(lemmy.cafe)
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this post was submitted on 13 May 2024
311 points (73.1% liked)
Unpopular Opinion
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I've never raped anyone but I've been forced/coerced to have sex with two different women, and yes I'm a little offended at the fact that simply due to my gender I'm lumped in with the perpetrators rather than the victims, and that the perpetrators are lumped in with the victims in my stead. It goes beyond the bear post and is partially the result of the fact that nobody gives two shits about male victims, and the fact that in many localities rape requiring penetration excludes men from seeking justice by default, the being treated as a predator whilst being preyed upon is just the icing on the cake, really.
If that makes me worse than the bear, because I'd rather we not use inflammatory and gendered language to vilify a whole gender and exclude its victims for the lulz, then so be it.
You have a fair point, but that doesn't make the original point less important. You are on the statistically safer side of the coin, but NO one should be treated this way.
Historically, rape victims on both sides have been ignored, blamed, and chastised. This needs to change. We need to have better treatment and justice for SA victims. Gender or sex shouldn't come into the picture for how the situation is handled.
I get why you're mad at this, and I do not want to talk about details of my life, but I get why you're mad at this for personal reasons. I just think it's slightly misdirected. I wish people would take you seriously, again, for personal reasons. I hope you find support and safety.
This is basically my entire point. Don't make posts like "I'd rather the bear than the women because a bear will just maul me but the woman will force me to have sex with her," which are designed to evoke a negative reaction. Instead, a real conversation where it's victim v offender instead of man v woman is likely more productive. Now that it has become an inflammatory gendered thing all we're doing is talking about that instead of the "original intent" (frankly I think it was intended as it came, but "benefit of the doubt" I guess.)
Yeah. Definitely fair on the probably not pure intentions part as well, but I'm frequently too quick to give the benefit of the doubt, even after all this time.
I'm sorry if this conversation is rough for you.
Thanks, but I'm over what happened now, it was years ago, but it just bugs me to deal with all the bullshit surrounding it, like this issue with the bear thing.
I just think we should all come together on this issue for the betterment of everyone instead of bicker about "men this, women that, and nonbinary don't exist in this conversation."