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Lemmy is a worse platform for women than Reddit was
(lemmy.cafe)
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this post was submitted on 13 May 2024
311 points (73.1% liked)
Unpopular Opinion
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I've never raped anyone but I've been forced/coerced to have sex with two different women, and yes I'm a little offended at the fact that simply due to my gender I'm lumped in with the perpetrators rather than the victims, and that the perpetrators are lumped in with the victims in my stead. It goes beyond the bear post and is partially the result of the fact that nobody gives two shits about male victims, and the fact that in many localities rape requiring penetration excludes men from seeking justice by default, the being treated as a predator whilst being preyed upon is just the icing on the cake, really.
If that makes me worse than the bear, because I'd rather we not use inflammatory and gendered language to vilify a whole gender and exclude its victims for the lulz, then so be it.
You have a fair point, but that doesn't make the original point less important. You are on the statistically safer side of the coin, but NO one should be treated this way.
Historically, rape victims on both sides have been ignored, blamed, and chastised. This needs to change. We need to have better treatment and justice for SA victims. Gender or sex shouldn't come into the picture for how the situation is handled.
I get why you're mad at this, and I do not want to talk about details of my life, but I get why you're mad at this for personal reasons. I just think it's slightly misdirected. I wish people would take you seriously, again, for personal reasons. I hope you find support and safety.
men don't get support and safety for being victims. we get ostracized and many see our confession of previous abuse as 'evidence' that we deserved it and brought it upon ourselves.
For many things, yes. I used to want to adopt kids, but I don't think I can deal with the public perception of being a male(-ish) person caring for children anymore, having heard so many rough stories from close friends, who at least have a wife to yell at sexists. Having a less traditional partnership won't win any positive counts in the public eye, no matter how good of parents we might be.
There are quite a few stories of the same ostracizing for females (regarding SA), just less public attention on the stories for males who go through similar problems. All in all it's fucked and we need people to take this seriously. I see the stand that this is making everyone defensive, but at the same time it is at least calling up the issue and maybe after people calm down, more people might acknowledge it? Yeah. I am too naive. Or wishful.
i am naive too, but experience has taught me that with age people only get worse, they don't get better.
i'm now at the age where if i walk my dog and someone's kid wants to pet it they think i'm a pedo trying to seduce their kid. nothing is just innocent and pure anymore. the well has been poisoned and people assume the worst when they have zero reason too... (well other than that the internet/tv told them to do it)