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Anon is at a crossroads in life
(sh.itjust.works)
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Plumbers make hand over fist if they're good at their job. Many people get turned away by the "you deal with shit pipes" stigma so whoever sticks around are in huge demand.
It's not so much what the pipes hold that turns me off, it's where the pipes are. Crawl spaces and attics and other shit holes. You get paid so well because it's not a very glamorous job.
I have Arachnophobia. Despite working on it in small ways throughout my life, I still get an extremely strong flight response when one is too close. I enjoy working with my hands and am decent at it. Sometimes I feel just a little cursed. A wee eight-legged dude that wants absolutely nothing to do with me and I'm the one having a freakout.
You can work on phobias like that in therapy
Sure I can. How would you recommend I afford therapy for a phobia that only impacts my life rarely?
My bad, I think I came across judgmental. I’ve got a heights phobia myself
That's alright. Just that therapy is, unfortunately, all too often an expense that falls far down the list. Housing, food, and other bills and only then MAYBE therapy if it's feasible. It helps, though the stress of paying it might extend your stay.
Arachnophobia is weird one too. It has it's roots so far down our brain stem from billions of years of "fuck no spider!" Like flying and confinement are phobias that happen farther up the consciousness ladder. Spiders, and to a lesser extent snakes are in our like bios settings. Came with the motherboard
I usually get that "this is fine" mantra going on repeat until it either touches me or I'm done and wig the fuck out of there. On the rare occasion I tell the spider we're fine so long as we leave each other be and it's all sunshine and rainbows. Brains are weird.
The second there's more than 2 or it's bigger than a toonie I'm bringing fire though.
Canadian!?!? What do you know aboot spiders!? Lol
We have many lakes and rivers, so dock spiders are common unfortunately. Wooded areas aplenty, so wolf spiders too. Then your common group of hanging out in the corners of your deck getting their full of mosquitos and black flies spiders. Those creeperass basement spiders with the long legs. I once also slammed my shed shut and fucked off back inside because of some furry palm sized bastard was chilling on the inside of said shed door.
They may not be poisonous or dinner plate sized, but some are pretty aggressive and others look like they should be.
Ahhhh yesss, those hand-sized fuckers that somehow manage to hide from us the majority of the time. I swear they're seasonal and migrate from arachnophobe residence to arachnophobe residence. Caught one side-eyed low on a bedroom wall once. Did a double-take. Bastard noticed the first glance and disappeared.
Like completely.
I still wonder at times if I was hallucinating.
It was my last summer at home before college too, but I did notice some aggressive webbing slowly overtaking the back shelf as the summer went. Only sign I knew I wasn't crazy, because I also never saw it again.
Then the house sold while at college. Drove by a few weeks ago on my way through town and noticed the shed is now gone, guessing the buyer also saw the spider lol
I am also terrified of spiders. It helps to pretend that there are no spiders where your hands are, and thats just insulation and dust... not spider webs... yep yep yep!
I knew a plumber growing up. Dude walked around with a wad of cash that would make a gangster blush. Used to run into him on jobs all the time. By the time I knew him he was one of those elder assholes, would spend 5min saving the day with wizardry and old man strength, and the rest of the day smoking weed and being hilarious. R I P Lionel, you were a good one
I imagined how some gang hired plumber to keep shit together, then they see bill, learn that this is how everyone bills, and become plumbers gang. Sometimes it's called plumbers coop.