I don't want an LLM to chat with or whatever folks do with those things, i want a command i can just install, i call the binary on a terminal window with an image of some sort as a parameter, it returns a single phrase describing the image, on a typical office machine with no significant GPU and zero internet access.

Right now i cannot do this as far as i know. Pointing me at some LLM and "Go build yourself something with that" is the direct opposite of what i stated that i desire. So, it doesn't currently seem to exist, that's why i stated that i wished somebody ripped it off the Firefox source and made it a standalone command.