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this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
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Thanks, I do suspect I have delayed phase sleep disorder. It's good to know I'm not alone. Do you have any coping strategies?
My coping strategy is 'modafinil to keep me from not being a zombie when particularly sleep deprived', and 'zopiclone for if I have been up longer than I should and it's early enough to push me back into normal sleep pattern'. But of course I'm very wary about doing that more than twice in a row, so it's never enough to establish 'normality'.
I don't, unfortunately.
I'm a shell of a human, haven't been properly employed for some years, never managed a "normal" schedule or any kind of routine really. I used to have a shift job, but then that became impossible to do as well. In the army I got myself a role that allowed me to shift my personal schedules quite a bit.
But yeah, no, it has ruined my life and ever since I told tve doctors I tried weed as a coping strategy (for sleeping and eating, it's good), I can't really get any help from the public doctors, since I live in such a backwards country that weed is still comparable to doing iv-opiates basically.
I take melatonin and zolpidem. Melatonin around midnight so it would always be the same but ambien when I go to bed.
Doesn't really help.
If I lived ina country with less social secvurity, like the US, I probably would've ended up on the streets several years ago. I'd probably have killed myself or some other people by this point.
Now I'm just a wreck of a person waiting of some moronic bureaucratic bullshit while everyone else gets to have a life and I don't.
Tbf mine might be "non-24 and not just a delayed sleep-phase", but despite me now having actual sleep data from more than 6 months, I can't even get the sleep studies place to accept my doctors referral there. Makes me so fking angry I'm gonna have a seizure again
I'm so, so sorry to hear this.
I feel really lucky that I get some government support because I have autism / bipolar. It's not much, but the specific benefit I receive also allows me to do some work... and I'm also very lucky to be self employed in a field I enjoy (writing music). So I'm certainly not rich or even that comfortable, but it does allow me to morph my days and nights to suit my unnatural rhythms.
One thing I find about lack of sleep... it makes me really emotional, grumpy, increases likelihood of a depressive state. For me, it's SO important to almost literally inject happiness. If we have a condition that takes away our happiness, it's really crucial to create happiness in any way possible. Binge funny TV shows, go for a walk, watch some standup comedy, call a friend (not at 2am unless they're also a night owl haha), make some art (doesn't matter if you're good at it), try learning a new skill, play a game, join a volunteering group. Those are my go-to activities, probably different for you.
Also, and I know it'll sound trite, but I got into a couple of things during lockdown that made a big difference to my overall happiness; Buddhist and Stoic philosophy. I'm not a Buddhist, probably never will be. I definitely have a long way to go in applying Stoic principles. But they have really improved my life. Meditation is very hard at first but incredibly beneficial. If I could recommend a couple of books (one is an audiobook and for me was more transformative than Buddhist principles)... if you've never used Audible, you can sign up for a month trial and keep the audiobook you select, no charge if you cancel within 28 days.