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So what's up with BeeHaw?
(beehaw.org)
An open-ended community for asking and answering various questions! Permissive of asks, AMAs, and OOTLs (out-of-the-loop) alike.
In the absence of flairs, questions requesting more thought-out answers can be marked by putting [SERIOUS] in the title.
Subcommunity of Chat
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Hi from someone outside the hive!
Subscriptions sometimes get stuck in the "pending" state on other lemmy sites, too. I assume it's a federation bug that only affects certain instances at any given time. Waiting a few days and then unsub/resubbing has sometimes cleared it for me. Other times, it has taken admin attention. Thankfully, it seems to be cosmetic; I have still been able to see and post messages in the affected communities.
As for the low traffic, I think subscribing across instances is likely your best solution. While there are often multiple communities for any given topic scattered around the 'verse, people mostly tend to gather around one or two of them, and I think beehaw's selectivity and preference for a handful of broad topics kind of work against it becoming a global gathering place. I expect that helps filter out jerks, but judging by what you wrote, maybe it also makes for a very quiet neighborhood.
The good news is that many of the bigger instances also have rules about being respectful, and while moderation can't prevent bad-faith comments, it can at least clear them out when people report them. I encourage you to try a few communities from elsewhere, and see if any of them feel comfortable. This directory might help:
https://lemmyverse.net/communities
so nice, thanks for the helpful suggestions.
Honestly, when I wrote my post this morning I didn’t really expect to get any answers and these have all been great.
Thank you @mox@lemmy.sdf.org and all who’ve replied. This feels like a great space.