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Everyone knows how rabidly reactionary and shitheaded the SW fandom became after the Disney acquisition but I'm finally at my breaking point with this latest wave of chud whining. The Acolyte got review bombed before it even aired because the showrunner is a lesbian and the leading actress is a gay enby. Also a clip of Stenberg from like 6 years ago made the rounds where she says the goal of a completely different project she was working on was to make white men cry and chuds who get all their news from youtubers thought she was talking about the Acolyte.

Fast forward to the show's release, the chuds continue to whine about woke Star Wars despite the show's first several episodes being pretty bland and mid in every regard. To disguise their actual reasons for hating the show (diverse cast and queer showrunner) they pull out the absolute most ridiculous reasons to bash it, including but not limited to:

  • "The writing is awful and the story sucks!" (the dialogue is genuinely quite bad at times but no worse than 95% of star wars projects. The general story is a mystery-thriller that's compelling enough. Also these same people turn around and say the prequels are incredible so funny-clown-hammer)

  • "The show contracts and ruins the prequels!" alright time to put on my nerd cap because the media literacy of these fucking shitbags is nonexistent. "Dark side user" =/= Sith, Red-lightsaber-user =/= Sith, there are tons of darkside users in the galaxy but the Sith area very specific order that the jedi warred with for thousands of years before they were almost completely wiped out. Also half the point of the prequels was to show the Jedi are blinded by their hubris and waning connection to the force, the Sith were right under their nose the entire time and they were just too arrogant to see it, silly Darth Teeth man doesn't ruin shit in your dog ass shit fuck childrens movies.

  • "The show RETCONS CANON in an UNACCEPTABLE WAY" this is because a prequel side character's DOB was retconned and he's a lot older now and appears in the show. These worthless fucks are sending death threats to Wookiepedia editors who change the character's DOB and screaming that it's vile yes that's right it's VILE to change a fictional background character's birthday. Just take a look at the replies on that post, yes I know it's the bird hellsite filled with ragebait but the responses like "oh well I thought that GATEKEEPING was a BAD THING nerd" are just so bleak. Art and media mean nothing to these people, their hobby is not watching Star Wars, its watching ragebait youtubers and getting violently angry about mundane things in shows they've never watched and aren't interested in democracy-manifest Also these screaming manbabies keep referencing non-canon books and shit as "proof" of the show retconning things

The discourse around TLJ was bad but I think I'm finally done engaging with the SW fandom in any way shape or form. My brain has finally been broken by the chuds. I don't think I'll even tell people I like SW anymore because these shitbrains have just ruined it. And yes I know I need to touch-grass but if you don't spend a decent amount of time in these SW fandom circles I promise you don't know how bad it actually is

/rant

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[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Every day that passes makes my proposal of a plotless lightsaber tournament that much more appealing by contrast.

Fuck it! Anakin vs Luke, Quai Gon Jin vs Rei, Obi Wan vs Akosha, Darth Maul vs Yoda, Mace Windu vs General Greivis, Duku vs Palpetine

And you know what? Sora from Kingdom Hearts vs Kylo Ren. Just send my Emmy in the mail

[-] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

Every day that passes makes my proposal of a plotless ~~lightsaber~~ podracing tournament that much more appealing by contrast.

FTFY

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago

WAIT! I JUST THOUGHT OF THE DECADE DEFINING TRILOGY

crush unity hyperflush

[-] Thordros@hexbear.net 7 points 5 months ago

Add a dozen or two identical anime swordguys and you'd have a solid Smash sequel on your hands.

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

I already named a bunch of Jedi undyne-joy

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

Kingdom Hearts BRAWL!!

[-] Dessa@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

A lightsaber tourney would be amazing, but I wouldn't make it about a cast we already kniw.

Fill it with martial artists and stunt workers. Theres no plot so no need for acting ability.

But heres the hard part almost anybody in hollywood would fail at: Make the action 70-80% middle shots and keep the camera on the action through more than a single action beat. Keep the camera steady and let the dancers show off their skills.

If they can't do this, then I'd rather the keep the soapy formula they've been on

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago

That would be beautiful, but when it comes to star wars, I am such a sucker for magic-enhanced martial arts. I write about it because it's how my imagination has developed as I started doing BJJ, striking, etc. I need them to have choreography and LARPing in addition to their real skills. I need someone to be about to get sliced and force push their opponent back. I need someone to throw a giant rock and their opponent torpedos through it spinning saber first only to get force lightning-d out of the air. I need someone to demonstrate force choking not working against another force user to characterize Vader as a bully. They need to lose a saber and have to wrestle each other over the single lightsaber left. I NEED TWO YOUNG YODAS

[-] Dessa@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago

Yes, naturally. What would be the point of making it star wars if it didnt have all that wacky force business?

I feel like the Acolyte was advertised as a magic martial arts show, and it had me hyped, but so far there's just been the opening scene which is disappointing. Here's hoping we get more if that later because itherwise this show is super dull

this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
53 points (100.0% liked)

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