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Are you mad at me?
(lemmy.zip)
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this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2024
852 points (98.6% liked)
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Yes. It's on you to manage your emotions. It's not alright to treat your partner like an abuser because you were hurt in the past. Trauma doesn't give you a free pass to treat people poorly.
The people downvoting clearly haven't been in a long term relationship with someone with severe PTSD. I'm going on 8 years, and while it's getting better, it's a huge struggle mentally to constantly be treated like you're a bad person through absolutely no fault of your own. I'm in therapy specifically because of it.
I have my own traumas from my past, but I work hard to not let it affect my relationship because it's not fair to my SO to take that trauma out on them.
You don't seem to know the difference between "difficult to deal with" and "abuse," or there's something else going on in your relationship beyond them just not trusting you easily. A difficulty or inability to managing emotions is also a symptom of certain traumas like PTSD so putting the onus on someone you know has this difficulty like that is in really poor taste and shows a lack of understanding.
No one is responsible for your reaction to your emotions except for yourself. If your issues cause you to treat your partner poorly, it's on you to address them.
Like I said at the beginning, having a reason for mistreating your partner doesn't make it acceptable.