Now, remember kids: if an unpopular Democratic presidential candidate doesn't win an election, who do we blame? That's right: literally everyone to the left of us. That's how you make progress in a country, after all: Demonizing the left in the same way conservatives do. And why do we do that? That's right, it's because we're secretly conservative, too. We just tolerate gay people more, but don't want actual social or economic progress. Repeat after me: "unfavorable political outcomes are everyone else's fault but mine!"