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this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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Then you have a hard conversation.
I've been that person. I lived with my grandparents for a year. Rent free, nearly no job. My aunt and uncle sat me down and explained that they appreciated my work helping to care for my grandparents, but if I stayed with them I would only be qualified for a career as a home health aid.
I talked to my extended family and moved out. Other arrangements were made for my grandparents. I found a job and started a new career. It's certainly possible to enable bad behavior, but it's also possible to help someone that needs it.
Good on you for being receptive to their conversation and actually making improvements and changes. Not everyone behaves that way, some people like my friend just become dependent on the help instead. It's important to recognize that external help isn't always the solution; that shouldn't stop us from trying to help initially but it's important to withdraw it if it's causing dependency.
That's completely reasonable.