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this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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You're a fucking lawyer for a prestigious car brand. Surely hiring a god damn nanny was a better solution than child murder?
Take a week off, go to the hospital to get yourself and baby checked out. While in hospital, order a car seat. They'll probably give you some diapers and an outfit or blanket.
Then, when you leave the hospital, head to fire dept and place baby in the "need a baby, take a baby, have a baby, leave a baby" box.
I know you're being facetious, but this was in Germany where workers actually have rights to take a week off, and healthcare is freer than breadsticks.
That's sad that your first assumption was that I was joking because I said "take a week off" and "go to the hospital". Not a statement about you but about the state of things in some areas.
Though it's also sad that I silently assumed those weren't outlandish suggestions because she was a lawyer (though, as a Canadian, I did forget for a moment that "go to the hospital" might be a showstopper rather than the minimum level of care a parent who doesn't want their surprise baby should do before abandoning it at the fire dept).
The only part that I had intended as tongue in cheek was the "leave a baby, take a baby" bit. The comment was intended as a "this is a better way to handle this than dropping the baby out of the nearest window that doesn't involve having to take care of the baby at all, beyond a week of dealing with it with a minimum level of responsibly."
Alternatively, put the baby in a box with a towel, drop it off in a location where it can survive 5 minutes and call 911 to that location. Or call an adoption agency.