I prefer end to end encryption, like in Matrix, Signal, SimpleX, etc. So I don't use Lemmy for PMs since they are not actually private, hell I went quite a while where I stopped using Lemmy because it is not meant for someone interested in their own privacy despite the irony of having multiple privacy focused communities. If someone doesn't want to host instances dedicated to CSAM I could see them wanting to defederate, but so far I've seen defederation used as a temper tantrum. It's always over some stupid drama. If you don't want to host whatever then what is the point of opening your instance to other people? I fail to see why someone would bother going through this trouble and then say no you can't view this community meant for modifying your nintendo switch. Even reddit does not care as much as the instance owners on Lemmy do. It's just baffling. Also good luck deleting your posts and comments. Ugh this convo makes me hate Lemmy again.