Can I ask as an aside, why there is this intense fear that well trained people are going to physically attack you. Mentioning throwing sand and rocks, breaking knee caps, breaking wrists.

None of that violent stuff takes training. It represents that someone looking to, in the case stated, kidnap/assault/whatever my friend would not have held back as I did. In controlled conditions where her safety was paramount to the attacker (me) AND she knew I was coming in a planned confrontation, AND she had the knife in hand...she could not use the knife to defend herself. The single most dangerous non-gun defensive option. As for the thing you mischaracterize as "intense fear", it isn't. You get in physical conflict as a spur of the moment event (drunks, arguments, etc) or as an ambush(mugging, kidnapping, murder for murder sake). In both cases, especially the second one, the one attacking you has taken your measure and chooses to agress. One can safely assume that someone ambushing you will have determined they will be in the advantage (stronger, armed, surprise). You don't live in fear of everyone being trained combatants out to get you. You prepare as best you can for the ONE time you may well lose your life because you were taken at a disadvantage. Preparing for an unarmed 8yo kid to attack you would be silly, not only because they are not a threat, but they also just wouldn't attack you.

I can understand the vague risk of a random person near you being in some state that causes violence, but what situations are so likely that you need to prepare and train like this?

She thought like that too. Had she clung to that, I would likely be missing her very much right now. As for me training like this...The Army had some bug up its ass about soldiers being able to defend themselves in combat. Bureaucracy... More seriously though, I prepare because it doesn't take much effort to just have to the tools on hand. Why do you buckle a seatbelt, ever crashed your car (is it out of that "intense fear" you asked about?)? I train with what tools I carry because they are exceedingly dangerous and it would be irresponsible not to (an added side note would be that if you are ever forced to rely on them, you will NOT be in a good stable mindset. You absolutely will fall back on your training. Non-practiced people have pepper sprayed themselves in panic moments...)

I can think of some relatively outlandish scenarios where someone might be surrounded by physically superior people who occasionally not only want to hurt you but want to kill you, but in all of those I’d have to argue the best thing would be not to be around such people in the first place.

You sounds like you live a very safe life, I am happy to hear it. Those people can come to you. This isn't about hanging around gangs. There is not flaw in your logic of avoiding bad situations, but the argument comes back to paralleling the seatbelt comment I made earlier. "Just drive safe so you don't crash" doesn't solve the need for a seatbelt, there are other people acting in ways you can't predict.

Second best would likely be that noone in that situation has a gun. Did you run drills with your friend on trying to draw the gun while within reach of the attacker? How did those turn out compared to your knife test? What happens when the attackers kill you and take your guns. Or just steal them when you are sleeping or on vacation.

I disagree. Her not having a gun means the person she had to shoot had his way with her. I, and I assume she, can't speak to the conditions around the shooting (ie. Was the wind low enough and going in the right direction to use pepper spray). She is trained in using a handgun. She understands retention draws. Kill me and take the gun? Then they have my gun, but I am dead. What if me having a gun stops my death and they can't steal it, or ever commit a crime again? What happens if they kill me take my ar keys and drive down a crowded sidewalk at 60mph? I get your question, but it is not as relevant as you think(it also sounds like a "why don't you just die so the off chance they grab your gun doesn't happen"... I'd rather stop the gun theft AND not die). As for the last bit, you dismiss potential aggressors, but break-ins are a concern? As you may correctly assume, I don't leave guns laying around in an insecure house. What if someone breaks in, takes my keys, and drives my car down a sidewalk at 60mph?

We can argue the merits of guns all day, they are ultimately tools that have the potential to be used safely, but I just haven’t heard any solid arguments behind the “gun ownership increases safety” group, especially when its applied to society rather than an individual.

This gets into a pro-2a debate that I actually don't like. I hear the "an armed society is a polite society" thing all the time...but I have seen the numbers and while the logic works from one angle, it doesn't from another, and the numbers bear that out. The logic is that if anyone could be carrying a gun, people would be less likely to commit crimes. That is logically sound. However, what seems to happen is more like what I mentioned earlier...the plan changes. "Hey we are going to rob a gas station...but people might be armed...so instead of scaring people with a pistol and getting the money and running, let's drive through the front door with AR15s, spray everyone, grab what we can and run!" This is why I am very much in favor of regulated gun ownership for trained individuals. I am in favor of more regulation for more ridiculous guns too (licence to drive vs Hazmat CDL to drive a tanker truck full of hydrochloric acid). I don't think I could ever get to the point of "ban all guns" though. That truly does cause more problems (prohibition era nonsense, black markets, ratio of good/bad actors that have guns shifting dramatically towards bad).

I hope we can get to a point where there is balance between "YEEHAW ROCKETLAUNCHERS FOR ALL" and "only criminals have guns". I hate seeing every reasonable attempt at gun regulation get shot down by "it's a slippery slope", and the whole time people are losing their lives to 'badguys with guns'.

Anyway, I hope that helped clarify stuff a bit. I'm not expecting you to change sides at all, and honestly we need even more push from your side to get ANYTHING done with gun regulation.

Take care.