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Anon is asking the difficult questions
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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I don't necessarily disagree, and everyone is different, but you should consider that it's not just you that changes. You change WITH your partner. You grow TOGETHER. I am absolutely different than I was 10 years ago, and so is she, but that doesn't mean that we're no longer compatible. Our growth contributed to each other's growth.
I do think people should be maybe... less attached? You should regularly evaluate your relationship to see if it's working. Shared interests aren't even always necessary (as long as they at least show interest in what you like and vice versa). But that is very hard and many people would rather not be alone.
I don't picture too many mates that can handle religious extremist conservative misogynist to atheist leftist open minded best intentions diversity ally. I could be wrong. Heck, in that span I've gained, dropped, and maintained more weight than anyone I've ever dated, going from ~250 to 350 to 187 and racing bicycles. I doubt I would have spent 3-4 hours a day on a bike while working 8-10 hours and racing on the weekend if I had married someone in my early 20's. I'd probably still be in bad health. I'm not all that bright right now, but I was a whole lot dumber in the past and having someone around that reinforced my biases was certainly a factor in my growth and development. It is hard to say how things would be different. It gets super lonely at times, but my situation is not standard there.
I personally think that shared interests are far less important than shared values (as in equality, for example), and while it's fun to have a partner who has shared interests I don't necessarily think it's a prerequisite. If you enjoy spending time with them and they're a good person, that's all that matters if you ask me.