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I get it, I just get so pissed people only doing the right thing after if affects THEM. The GQP has been bashing gay and queer folks for decades! But, it's only after their child is targeted that they see the light.
They are better than those who are still in the GOP, and I'm happy they left, but it still leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
I feel like so much of it comes from really not doing the work to understand. It doesn't help that With trans issues people get flat out lied to and because there's nobody on hand to say reality check stuff like : "What the fuck do you mean 'The uptick of trans men is causing a wave of hysterectomies in a mass sterilization plot' ... one of the largest reason for temporary detransition is for pregnancies. Also STOP TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE BREEDING STOCK. " You get a rolling problem where the disinformation is layers deep and they only trust the sources who are financially rewarded for saying the bullshit- because they believe so hard that everything is a conspiracy and have this backwards perception that if only a tiny handful of people in a field are saying something that contradicts a varitable mountain of concensus then that thing is automatically somehow more believable...
I feel like having someone in your family who opens your eyes to the realities because of the immediate demonstratable contradictions of observed reality makes sense. These people caught in transphobialand have by and large been duped. They were ignorant and a bunch of people took advantage of that for financial and political gain. While I can see how not being immediately empathetic isn't great I dunno if I am as mad when observing from the angle of these people just being kind of dumb enough to be played.
it's the most trivial way to change peoples opinion though, so it should make sense. How do you stop racism? You get white people to talk to black people. How do you stop homophobia? Get gay people talking to straight people. This is like 90% of social cohesion.
I think you're focusing a little too much on the sour taste no longer in your mouth, and not the sweet one that is currently there. I would venture to bet that if you talked to these people personally, and got to know them, you would probably really enjoy that interaction and have very little malice towards them after the fact.