There is a vast frontier of knowledge and value to be gained in renewable energy, fusion technologies, CRISPR/medical science, systems integrations and automation, environmental cleanup, food science, etc.

These all take hard work and knowledge and aren’t quick fixes, so of course it seems like all the low hanging fruit is gone.

There are a ton of problems that need solving. It’s not the dog eat dog universe you say it is.

I used to be nihilistic and cynical for a time as well. Then I went through a divorce, went deeply into debt, became an alcoholic, lived in my car for a while and got sober and got my shit together. Not to say I recommend it, but the survival instinct is strong, and a wife and kids are a wonderful thing to wake up to every day.

I hope you can get some distance from the drugs and you might also get some perspective.

Your story is at least interesting, and if true, it sounds like you at least have the resources to improve your mindset and lot in life.