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this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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Showerthoughts
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In a sense - yes it is good to 'be like everyone else'. Now before you all downvote, ask yourself what do we consider normal? When becomes a behaviour problematic?
we assume behaviour falls on a bell curve. At the extreme ends is behaviour that's is considered to be 'abnormal' as in not normal and in the in-between is what we consider normal and what most people do. Abnormal does not mean bad or detrimental to one's health however; it often sparks a negative reaction from others.
In line with this is the 'insult' to be extra unique, different or special would be not normal because most people are not at the end of the bell curve.
If we apply this to mental health: you may feel depressed at times. Doesn't mean anything but the more days you feel that way, the further to the end of the bell curve do you move. At some point you are an outlier and we can safely say: you have a major depression. Now this is simplified but it gets the point across.
In other areas it is better to not be extremely unique, too. Think of school, in my experience being different is not a problem but being extremely different to your peers will have negative impact on you. They might pick on you or outright ignore you. This is not justifying this it is sadly how it often goes.
We don't have to like it, but it would be stupid to deny it.
I suspect it was ingrained into us a long time ago when survival required us to rely on each other more. If the only butcher in town didn't like you, you either learn to enjoy being vegetarian, or learn to chop them up yourself.
Every generation has taught their kids how to fit in. "You can't leave the house wearing that. Don't slouch. Please and thank you. Go to church. Don't meow at people. Get a haircut. Go to college. Get a good job. Have more sex. Don't have sex."
But, I'm noticing every generation is a little more relaxed than the last, possibly because it's now very possible to exist without directly interacting with anyone.
Right now, Boomers are pissed that they had to dress properly, be polite, pretend to be straight, hide all emotion, never be wrong but don't be a nerd, show up early, work late, and force themselves into the mold of the families they saw on TV.
They used bullying to "educate" each other on how to "stay in line". But now, nobody's beating up the nerds and the freaks, and the gays. People are more comfortable to be who they are, so they aren't hiding it. I think this is wonderful! Fear doesn't have to decide who we are! But they see THE ONE RULE OF SOCIETY breaking apart. YOU MUST FIT IN TO SURVIVE! and if people aren't fitting in, society can't survive.