I'm saying that the whole model of gender dynamics built on an oppressor/oppressed dichotomy you operate on is flawed in a way that makes it at best useless. That model has it's roots in Marxist class conflict, and as a consequence the entire model and worldview only works as well as the alleged oppressor/oppressed dichotomy in question functions as a proxy for economic class. Which is why it works imperfectly for race, and even worse for sex/gender. You could literally make an argument for oppressed/oppressor zip codes and it would fit the model better than it does to sex/gender.

As an analogy, the model you operate on is like a geocentric model of the solar system. It's just plain not accurate, and every time it's made absolutely clear it's not accurate another apologetic is stitched on like epicycles and deferents were used to shoehorn geocentric models into line with observations instead of being willing to take the leap that it's bad model and should be tossed. This is where we get things like "the patriarchy hurts men too!" in exactly the way that no one would dare talk about how white supremacy hurts white people or capitalism hurts billionaires.

But as far as hating men, just look at the news media and reporting on various issues in the world. When "1/4 of the people this bad thing happens to are women!" is a call to action that something needs to be done to protect specifically women from the bad thing (see homelessness or suicide) which should be a hint about how men are viewed.

When you see casualties from some tragedy or another divided into women, children and "other", when you can go on your social media of choice and it's broadly acceptable to shit on men as a group with no qualifiers but you need to be extremely narrow and specific to say anything negative about any woman that should be another.

Hell, Reddit admins outright officially stated that their rules against hate speech do not apply to speech attacking men.

When you look at domestic violence resources, that should be a hint (yes, men are less often victims than women but the difference is not remotely as large as the difference in available resources).

Or look at heath care funding - there are numerous cutouts for women's health in the ACA while the word "men" only occurs in the context of "men and women" and ACA coverage of contraception includes every kind of FDA recognized contraceptive, including barrier methods...for women. Cancer research funding (including government funding) is dramatically higher for cancers that are female-specific or massively female majority (breast, cervical, ovarian, etc) than for cancers that are male-specific or massively male majority (testicular, prostate, etc).

Kentucky passed a law a few years requiring judges in contested custody cases start from the presumption that equal custody is best unless there's a good reason otherwise, as opposed to just starting from their own biases - this was heavily protested by women's groups for...some reason.

Title fucking IX (a law that just outright bans sex discrimination in any federally funded educational program in the US) is consistently implemented in a way that is biased against men and boys in education, a great example being that the current US government website explaining how to handle Title IX claims outright says that if a girl wants to play a sport and there is no girl's team she must be allowed to try out for the boy's team and be put on the team if she's capable but if a boy wants to play a sport and there is no boy's team there is no requirement to allow him anything at all. There have been a fuckton of lawsuits over the last decade or so from boys accused of sexual assault in an educational context going through the system and being denied due process over things like: not being allowed to know what the process actually is or how school officials are trained for it, not being allowed access to exculpatory evidence the school had, not being allowed to know what evidence was being arrayed against them until immediately before proceedings so that they wouldn't know what they needed to defend against, not being told what the accusation actually was or who was accusing them until the hearing so they couldn't build a defense at all, not being allowed to have legal counsel present, that kind of thing. Even one case where a boy accused a girl of sexually assaulting him and when she found out she accused him of doing the same in response so his accusation was tossed as being retaliatory, and no I didn't get my pronouns wrong in that and yes it is fucked up.

And the sad part is I can keep going with stuff like this for thousands and thousands of words and you probably won't read it, and if you do you'll probably ignore it or simply dub it misogyny and call me an incel or w/e. And the even sadder part is that this is the tip of a huge and depressing iceberg.