Yeah, my mom was very violent, my second step dad as well. I remember the "look what you made me do". The more I got beaten, the more my behaviour got worse.

I got placed into a foster home at 14 by childrens law (kinderrechter) because I came to school with bruises and black eyes, so my parents now are not welcome in my house or anywhere near my son...although they want to reconcile.

I have never beaten my kid and he is here at almost 20, loving his parents and doing alright. I learned from my upbringing never to beat my kid.

I am still seeing a shrink, depression from all that 40 years later. Fuck you if you beat your kids. You can set them straight by other means by taking away privileges, talking to them in a quite and composed manner, and show them ways how to do better.