that social skills can be learned, for non-neurotypicals that might require more help.

Mostly unlearning them requires help. It's called imitation and considered harmful. It takes away a lot of energy with nothing to show for it.

That little that can be learned mostly, too, consists of gaining experience to help unlearn imitation.

That was my point. Experience with people should be gained. Learning to imitate something should not.

Helplessness - yes. I'd tell them, other than therapy, to just keep trying to talk to girls, and stop trying to become "better" inside, because that's what makes one dull and boring.