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Most of the time when people say they have an unpopular opinion, it turns out it's actually pretty popular.

Do you have some that's really unpopular and most likely will get you downvoted?

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[-] frozen@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 223 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Being fat is a choice the vast majority of the time, and I have a huge bias against big people.

I used to be fat (250ish lbs (110ish kg) at 5'8"ish (172ish cm)), and as much as I would like to blame my shit on anything else, the person feeding me, the person sitting at the computer for hours, the person actively avoiding all physical activity was me and no one else. After I got diagnosed with some weight related shit, I turned my entire life upside down, am at a much healthier 150 lbs (68ish kg), and feel so much better, both physically and mentally.

I'm aware of my bias, and I make every active effort to counter it in my actual dealings with bigger people. Especially because there are certain circumstances, however rarely, where it may not actually be their fault. But I'd be lying if I said my initial impression was anything except "God, what a lazy, fat fuck."

Edit: Added metric units

[-] Lumun@lemmy.zip 30 points 1 year ago

I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately and your comment is interesting. Your first sentence is definitely phrased in a more controversial way than the rest of your comment, but I can't help seeing it as very similar to "Being depressed is a choice the vast majority of the time, and I have a huge bias against depressed people." Is that an unfair comparison?

I know that treating fatness/obesity as a disease is kinda controversial but I feel like folks give people dealing with mental health a lot more grace than people dealing with health issues related to being fat. I've also heard that for some people they can be perfectly healthy at a higher weight (though this is clearly not the case for many fat people who are seeing health impacts). I guess I'm assuming that a lot of fat people would potentially like to be less so, but can't (for any number of reasons) quite get there. This seems really similar for me to people dealing with depression, anxiety, etc who want to change things but keep falling back into the problem.

I guess my question is do you have bias against people who can't escape other bad cycles like mental health or even stuff like alcoholism? Or is it more just that you think it's fair to judge people without the discipline/willpower to get out of a state they didn't want to be in, like you did.

[-] frozen@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

This is a fair question. I guess maybe my statement could've been less broad. If just "being fat" is the primary problem, that's what I take issue with. If the problem is deeper, and being fat is a secondary issue (like a result of depression, hypothyroidism, or some other mental/physical ailment), then that's a different situation. My stance in that case is that the person should be actively trying to treat the primary problem. I know depression almost never just goes away. Sometimes it even sticks around with therapy and medicine, and that sucks hard. But at least they're trying.

[-] Lumun@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 year ago

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate your personal take on the whole thing. As someone who has never been fat, I'm trying to figure out what's the whole deal with the various movements around it. I feel it's gonna become a much bigger cultural discussion in the next decade. And congrats on getting down to a happier weight for you! Setting and reaching goals is definitely something to be celebrated.

[-] WillFord27@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

This is an old thread, but taking your first comment into account, doesn't this make them guilty until proven innocent in your eyes? If your first thought is "what a fat lazy fuck" without knowing their story? That seems unnecessarily judgmental, and I can't help but wonder if it comes from a place of insecurity, maybe left over from your own history with weight

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this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
566 points (94.4% liked)

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