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Make it about me (lemmy.world)
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[-] ChairmanMeow@programming.dev -3 points 3 weeks ago

the direction I take to "steer it away" is to look at it as something universal, which is simply more helpful to understand why it happens, not to tie attention to men's issues specifically.

I understand your intentions, but it doesn't have the intended effect. By doing this you are making the assumption that the way women experience these issues is (close to) the same as the way men experience it. But you can't really assume that, and often people disagree.

When women want to talk about problems they face, it's important to hear them out and address their issue, instead of what amounts to 'deflecting' to a "grander" issue. At its core it's a whataboutism that derails the conversation, and that's not what you intended.

So my genuine advice is: don't. Address these problems one by one. The solutions can often be different.

You have to assume that

I believe we've come at the point where women and men issues are so intertwined, so much permeating each other that it's no longer helpful to see them as separate issues to begin with.

may well not be correct, and it can feel incredibly invalidating to people by assuming that this is the case.

[-] Allero@lemmy.today 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I tried to make it clear that women have a drastically different social experience. It is true, and it would be weird to debate it.

But we have to separate venting from finding solutions. My very point is that we often cannot practically address women's issues without addressing men's ones, and vice versa. Going one by one, you will quickly hit the wall, as men (or women, if we talk about men's issues) just won't be able to do what they're asked for. And instead of accepting that and working together, people tend to assume that the reason the other side doesn't change is because they act in bad faith. This is inherently imbalanced and unworkable.

[-] ChairmanMeow@programming.dev -2 points 3 weeks ago

I see, but the point of the comic is that women don't seem to agree with you and find that way of thinking about it fairly exasperating at times. In many cases there hasn't been a serious attempt to address the issues raised, so claiming that you can't address them without also addressing men's issues would be perhaps a bit premature.

[-] Allero@lemmy.today 3 points 3 weeks ago

I see where you're coming from, and not gonna debate it further.

Still, to me it looks this division is growing, and hostility is barely ever a good answer. There seemed to be more unity and more decisiveness to approach things together just a few years prior, and I'm not sure what ended it.

this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024
574 points (75.5% liked)

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