1

1

Tragically, I only got to celebrate my birthday for half a minute (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Because I'm 32, so it was my thirty second birthday.

2

1

What do you call spherical cows in a particle accelerator? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago by beansbeansbeans@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Moo-ons

3

1

The airline agent would not let a hunter check his dead gazelle as luggage. (lemmy.ca)

submitted 5 days ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

She said it was carrion.

4

1

You know what I don't like about people who do yoga? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by splount@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Such posers!

5

1

[Deleted] (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by Kaelygon@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

6

1

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 1 week ago by Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Philippe Philoppe

7

72

I sent ten different puns into a pun contest in hopes of having a winner. (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 1 week ago by ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

11 comments fedilink

But no pun in ten did.

8

106

I got fired from my job at an orange juice factory. (lemmy.ca)

submitted 1 week ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

7 comments fedilink

I just couldn't concentrate.

9

97

Today I had a job interview at a mirror factory (lemmy.today)

submitted 1 week ago by MacNCheezus@lemmy.today to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

14 comments fedilink

I could really see myself working there.

10

327

A handy guide for the curious. (ttrpg.network)

submitted 1 week ago by ZDL@ttrpg.network to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

33 comments fedilink

11

15

Why Was The Broom Late For The Meeting? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 1 week ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

It overswept.

12

2

Be careful out there, mon amie. (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by EvilFonzy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

13

202

Pregante? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 1 week ago by SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

7 comments fedilink

14

157

Granny used to say “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”. (ttrpg.network)

submitted 2 weeks ago by ZDL@ttrpg.network to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

13 comments fedilink

I think that’s just one of Granny’s myths, though.

15

183

There was also the Spanish cat uno dos, but he disappeared without a tres (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago by SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

17 comments fedilink

16

214

Why we don't build houses with silver nails (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago by Trex202@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

14 comments fedilink

17

94

I accidently swallowed the cat's meds last night. (lemmy.ca)

submitted 2 weeks ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

Don't ask meow.

18

106

We're choosing a musical name for our baby daughter. (lemmy.ca)

submitted 2 weeks ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

13 comments fedilink

We're trying to decide between Claire Annette and Amanda Lynn.

19

14

Everyone should know the best time on a clock. (lemmy.nowsci.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago by fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

8 comments fedilink

It's 6:30 hands down.

20

8

A truck loaded with Vicks VapoRub overturned on the freeway (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago by WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

Police have confirmed there will be no congestion for eight hours.

21

10

There are pop tarts but no mom tarts. (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago by Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

3 comments fedilink

Because of the pastryarchy.

22

2

Bit my tongue (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago by SuperEars@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Chew story

23

142

In 2021, the World Health Organization proved conclusively that Covid cannot be transmitted through pets, thus enabling the release of thousands of dogs that have been kept in quarantine. (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 weeks ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

7 comments fedilink

WHO let the dogs out.

24

73

Saw this little guy in France, can you guess in which city? (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by morgunkorn@discuss.tchncs.de to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

13 comments fedilink

it was in... (click to reveal the answer)

Oui-Ville 😎

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49

After years of research, scientists finally found the smallest grizzly that ever existed. (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 3 weeks ago by maxmalrichtig@discuss.tchncs.de to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

It was the bear minimum.

Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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