1

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So tired (lemmy.world)

submitted 21 hours ago by zedgeist@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

2

1

What type of dwelling do retired Marines live in? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

A tinnnnn hutttttt!

3

1

How long? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47393990

Woman on ground: "How long will the ambulance be?"

Man aiding her: "Seventeen feet, six inches."

4

1

I married a half horse human 10 years ago. Every anniversary I tell them I love them (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

And that they are the centaur of my universe…

5

1

I just finished a tough negotiation to buy a truck load of raw materials.... (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

It was quite the ore-deal!

6

1

ALDI is the best place to buy a Humpty Dumpty action figure. (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by RegularJoe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

It comes with ALDI king's horses and ALDI king's men.

7

1

Crabbing (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by GraniteM@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

8

1

Why do German cats live forever? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Because even when they have no lives left they still have nein!

9

1

What is Waluigis favorite quick stop place ? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Waah-Waaah !!!!!

10

1

Your vet won't tell you this, but if your dog is running a fever, apply some mustard. (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by RegularJoe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

It's the best thing for a hot dog.

11

1

What do you call a cow with no legs? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 4 days ago by thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Ground beef.

12

1

What do you call a paper airplane that doesn't fly? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Stationary!

13

1

What did the melon say when his lawn started to look dry? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by RegularJoe@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

"Guess it’s time to water-ma-lawn."

14

1

Ham shame (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 4 days ago by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/69349641

15

1

Did you know someone broke in to my house and stole a dozen eggs from me? They also left a pot of boiling water on the stove... (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Police think it was poachers

16

1

When you make an irish stew, you must only use 239 beans or fewer (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 6 days ago by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

One bean more, and it'll be too farty.

17

1

I tried saying the number 403 (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

But I was told it’s forbidden

18

1

I tried to make egg fried rice in a saucepan... (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

It didn't wok

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1

Why couldn't the tree get on his computer? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Because he couldn't log on!

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14

How do you get down from an elephant? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

10 comments fedilink

You don't. You get down from a duck.

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More Mordor (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 week ago by jaybone@lemmy.zip to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

5 comments fedilink

Please add more. Feel free to add yordor.

Taken from comments originally in this post https://lemmy.zip/post/64613533

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2

You know, my first wife divorced me because she said I wasn't American enough... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

I saw it coming from a kilometer away!

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dad joke (reddthat.com)

submitted 1 week ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/65943659

24

3

I went to the ice cream parlor yesterday and they said "We're having a special on sundaes". I said... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

"Okay, I'll come back then"

25

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What's an Arch User's favorite ramen? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 1 week ago by rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

4 comments fedilink

-Syu ramen

Dad Jokes

23394 readers

56 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
Adult topics with which to be cautious or avoided: drugs, sex, death, racism.
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
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