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As soon as you bring it home, it'll make a bolt for the door

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He got a little behind in his work.

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submitted 4 days ago by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

:::spoiler I don't know why. :::

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"Swarm, isn't it?"

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1

spoilerGrass, I lied about the wheels.

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1

SpoilerHe's basically a giant Banner.

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11

Clearly age is a word

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5

Hij was een echte hordeur hoarder.

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79

I was stuck on the Knight shift

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submitted 2 weeks ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

Apparently, without glasses I can't see that well.

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113
Highly educational (lemmy.world)
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Indepen-dance!

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48

In Jamaica a steak pie will cost you £2.30. An Apple pie will cost £1.90. A chicken and mushroom pie will cost you £2.25. A cherry pie is £1.20 and a mince pie is £1.90.

In Trinidad &Tobago a steak pie will cost you £3.00. A rhubarb pie is £1.35 and a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.20...

...these are the pie rates of the Caribbean

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submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

But what are you going to do?

<>Buoys will be buoys.

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8
submitted 3 weeks ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

Ivan was born in Russia. His first job as a young man was cutting logs in the northern forests. The mosquitos plagued him. The work was brutal, but Ivan survived because he was a strong many and used to hardships. Then he went to the mines, slaving for hours in dim tunnels, moving tons of rocks. The air was foul and the heat was intense, but Ivan survived because he was a strong man and used to hardships. Finally, in search of cleaner air, he applied to the navy. On his first day, he was sent to the crows nest as a lookout. Sadly, a huge gust of wind knocked him from his perch and sent him tumbling to the deck, but Ivan survived because he was a strong man and used to hard ships.

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submitted 3 weeks ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

Because fathers have Father's Day and mothers have Mother's Day and Labour Day.

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submitted 3 weeks ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

Clint eats wood.

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submitted 3 weeks ago by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

I thought hard about what to do with the cash, but then I thought: "What would Jesus do?"

.So I turned it into wine.

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submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by toomanypancakes@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

He must have been going to a party, he had catan, he had uno, and he had Scrabble way up at the top. His stack wasn't balanced very well though, and Scrabble fell, the box burst open, spilling tiles everywhere.

So I went up to him and asked, "what's the word on the street?"

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Artificial Swedener.

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5

He is all right now.

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Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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