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I was going to make a belt out of watches but I realized it would be a waist of time (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 1 day ago by Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

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Buying a pub never goes exactly like you want to (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by Syrc@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

You’ll always find yourself Bargaining.

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1

What do you call a pansexual nonbinary jungle cat? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

A panthem

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Tech companies whose managers are bees are not a good place to work. (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 days ago by RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

The meetings are just too full of buzzwords.

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1

'Swiftie Dad' - A re-edit of M Night Shyamalan's 'Trap' becomes a film about a frustrated dad at a Taylor Swift concert. (www.youtube.com)

submitted 4 days ago by impynchimpy@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

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Fits perfectly here (lemmy.sdf.org)

submitted 5 days ago by Shard@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.sdf.org/post/25341720

Well, not ALL puzzles... [Dark Side of the Horse]

Via Mastodon.

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The Key (lemmy.ca)

submitted 5 days ago by GravelPieceOfSword@lemmy.ca to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

A monk once got locked out of the monastery.

To get back in, he went to the market, bought a dozen bananas.

He thus got hold of the monkey, unlocked the gates, and went inside.

🐒 = 📿 + 🔑

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My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by Kintarian@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

So I went in as Batman.

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Cube/ cuboid whatever (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

10

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Hello, dressing. I'm dad. (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 days ago by Jonnyprophet@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

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What do you get when a dinosaur farts on you? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Chef_Boyargee@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

A blast from the past.

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Well, not ALL puzzles... [Dark Side of the Horse] (lemmy.sdf.org)

submitted 1 week ago by Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.sdf.org/post/25341720

Via Mastodon.

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Do you know how hay is sorted? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by whaleross@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Alfalfabetically.

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When is the only time Christmas comes before Thanksgiving? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

When you're reading a dictionary.

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Dogs are different in France (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by brown567@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

I can't explain it, but they just have a certain chien ne sais quoi

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Opening a petting zoo (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

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The guys from Metallica have designed a new Sesame Street character to expose preschool children to religion... (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

The Pastor of Muppets is coming your way!

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Bookmark this one (i.imgur.com)

submitted 1 week ago by kersploosh@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

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There's a new exploit allowing an hacker to run arbitrary commands on lots of Unix-based fish tanks, potentially making them pour poison into the water. (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago by RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

2 comments fedilink

This may result in remote cod execution.

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What is the smallest unit of measure you can use at Thanksgiving? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

1 comments fedilink

Pil-grams!

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What did the monkey say whilst pointing at Tarzan swinging through the trees? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by Elwynn@lemmy.ml to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

"Man that's wild!"

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"I refuse to say anything without my lawyer present" (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

"But you ARE a lawyer."

"Yeah, so where's my present?"

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What do you call a lazy kangaroo? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by Kintarian@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

A pouch potato

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Low key fell off (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

For those with lower back pain:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lowkey

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fell%20off

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I thought someone had taken a dump in my shower (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 week ago by antimidas@sopuli.xyz to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

0 comments fedilink

Turns out it was just some sham poo

Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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