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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Least-Culture-9031 on 2023-10-02 21:06:23.
I (f23) have just recently started planning my wedding. For context I moved out when I was 17 after my dad and mum had split up. I haven’t had a relationship with my mum since for different reasons. My dad has been with his partner (f50’s) for the last 3/4 years.
A year ago I got engaged, we had told everyone that we had no intentions of getting married straight away due to financial reasons and we wanted to save. My dad a couple of days later said to get price a wedding and he would pay for the wedding breakfast and we could cover the rest.
Since this my dad’s partner has started dictating that my auntie can’t come as she isn’t friends with her anymore and making constant remarks about how she doesn’t want other people coming as it would make my auntie feel comfortable at my wedding. There has also been points that she’s made as if she is my mum, trying to organise to go for dinner with my in laws, wanting to make her child (no relation to me) a flower girl and who I have as bridesmaid.
My dad has also started making remarks every time I see him about how expensive the wedding is and jokes with a tone like ‘your robbing me’ etc. the cost of the wedding hasn’t changed since we priced it. It’s starting to really ruin my wedding planning and making me really nervous about the actual wedding to the point I don’t want my dad to pay for it anymore and would happily cover the cost. AITA for telling my dad’s partner to back off and telling him not to pay for it anymore?