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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by ICastFist@programming.dev to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world

SOURCE - https://brightwanderer.tumblr.com/post/681806049845608448

Alt-text:
I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like... if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you're a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

| just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success... I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

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[-] DrFistington@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Yup. And god forbid you start a small business that's successful and decide to pay your employees a good wage and set aside a fair amount of profit for yourself. That's loser talk. You need to go public or sell the business for a giant payout at the expense of your employees, and then you have to keep making more money every year for shareholders, or else they'll consider you a failure and jump ship

[-] Ironfist79@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Very good perspective and this is actually similar to some of the ideas of Buddhism. Everything in this life is temporary, enjoy it while it lasts.

[-] d00ery@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Many people live a successful life until they fail and die.

[-] t_chalco@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Some things do celebrate the ephemeral, so perhaps there's a cultural need to wrangle these into joy. We beat illness, graduate from school, solve problems, and complete tasks. Adopting such language might help? They've finshed their dream of owning a bakery, lived their goal of being a writer, proudly escaped the clutches of their successful career etc..

[-] Shanmugha@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I need a thousand more accounts just to upvote this

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[-] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago
[-] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Like Fat Mike, I too define success as “not working.”

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this post was submitted on 05 May 2025
626 points (98.3% liked)

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