This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Glass-Individual-385 on 2023-10-04 20:49:12.
Obligatory throw away account disclaimer.
I (33F) have an older brother "Danny" (37M), and we aren't exactly close but not distanced with one another either. The four year age gap made me the bratty little sister growing up, but now as adults and both married life just gets in the way.
We meet up with our parents along with significant others once or twice a month for dinner as we all live within about half hour of one another. My husband and I have 3 three year old triplets and depending where we go we some times get a sitter for a much needed adult night away. This past weekend we met up on Saturday night with the family for dinner at a fancy steakhouse. Husband and I opted to leave the kids home.
My brother was arrested a few months ago for DWI and took a plea. He is currently on probation with part of his requirements is to use an at home breathalyzer at scheduled times dictated by the probation office. I honestly don't know how many times per day this occurs but one of them is apparently 8pm every evening. We were in the middle of dinner when my brother abruptly interrupted my husband saying he had to leave in 15 minutes in order to meet this requirement.
I didn't respond and went back to my dinner. I didn't know he wanted a response but apparently that was the wrong decision. Danny looked at me and said "Did you hear me?" I said yes and that I was sorry but wasn't aware that it needed a response. He sighed audibly and told me I was selfish for not being more compassionate about "the plate of shit life handed." I got a little irritated but in order to keep the peace as we were having a nice dinner I just said ok we'll see you next time.
After Danny and my SIL left, he texted me several times, my husband, parents and I stayed behind to finish our food, calling me an asshole. He was apparently livid the rest of the family didn't leave when he and my SIL left. One of his texts said I wasn't showing empathy for his situation. I got mad and responded that he is living with the consequences of his poor decision making and I wasn't going to have my night ruined because he has a curfew to abide by now.
My husband and I both work full time and don't get many kid free nights and it's refreshing to do so. Since Saturday, my brother and SIL both have sent multiple texts about me being an AH over this. I really don't feel like I was but my mom asked me to apologize to keep the peace with the holidays coming up. So fine people of Reddit, AITA?