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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Suspicious-Mode-2967 on 2023-10-05 16:10:05.
I (28F) am expecting a daughter with my husband (30M) next year. Our daughter will be the first granddaughter born in his family. He has seven nephews and no nieces so far. When we announced the news that we were having a girl my husband's family were super excited. We already had a name chosen for our daughter and then his family mentioned naming her the family name. My husband already knew the name would be out for me but his family are not oaky with our reasoning.
For context... I am an affair baby and I was unfortunately raised in an environment where that was all I was allowed to be for the first 18 years of my life. My dad's affair was never taken out on him but instead I was the one everyone hated. My dad's wife was the person who hated me most of all. She found me repulsive and never hesitated to tell me exactly that. Her name was Annalise. She was giddy when she kicked me out at midnight on my 18th birthday. I never saw her or any of my biological family after that.
My husband's family name for the first granddaughter is also Annalise. It has been used for five generations already and our daughter is meant to be the sixth in the eyes of his family.
We explained the reason why the name would not be used for our daughter and they were not happy. They feel like I should try to add a positive association to the name by using it for my daughter and allowing her to be part of something that she should be based on the fact she will be the first granddaughter.
My husband told them it was not happening and that is his final decision.
But his family say I could assure him I'm fine with it and make sure we use the name. They said I am destroying something special by refusing.
AITA?