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Am I overreacting for wanting to quit driving altogether? (lemmy.world)
submitted 11 months ago by destructdisc@lemmy.world to c/fuckcars@lemmy.world
19 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/43565899

Context: I'm 19 and have had my driver's license since last summer. I was never interested in driving, but my family pressured me into signing up for driving school (they said it's a basic skill), so I did it and got my license - somehow - despite never feeling safe or in control behind the wheel during the learning process. I haven’t driven much since then, but on the few occasions I did, I still felt out of control. Two weeks ago, I had a pretty bad car accident due to failing to yield the right of way (I struggle with multitasking). I got hit by two cars. Thankfully, my boyfriend was with me. He’s a bit older and much more confident, extroverted, brave, and uninhibited - he managed to handle the situation with the other drivers and deal with all the protocols for me because I was completely overwhelmed and just crying. Thankfully, no one was hurt, so I only got my license suspended for 60 days, a fine, and I have to pay for the damages. My dad settled all of that already. Now I don’t want to ever drive again. But my dad says it’s fine and that every driver gets into an accident at some point.

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[-] mundane@feddit.nu 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Not driving when you feel that you cannot do it safely is a mature decision. Driving is not a requirement for a good life.

They said, should you want to continue to drive, drive like a granny and don't let anyone stress you to get out of your comfort zone. Driving like an old granny is the safest way to drive. If you need to drive slow to feel in control that is what you should do. Ignore any ass hat that gets stressed behind you. If they honk or try to force you to speed up, just ignore them. Go at your own pace. The same goes for any passenger in your car that tries to get you to speed up or go out into a crossing before you are certain you are on top of things. Ignore them or throw them out. When you drive, you decide what is a safe speed. Everyone else can fuck off.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 11 months ago

as someone who feels their heartrate spike just from being near loud traffic, god bless grandma drivers. PLEASE go 30km/h on 60km/h roads and force everyone behind you to atone for their daily sins

[-] imsufferableninja@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

if you're going to drive like a granny, you need to be aware of the road rules around when you need to pull over and let people pass. in some places (parts of TX for example) if you are going under the speed limit and there are 5 or more vehicles behind you, you are obligated to let them pass.

[-] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 11 months ago

Single smartest decision I've ever made was applying my hatred of rushing to my driving habits. I still mostly move with the flow of traffic, the faster lanes even, but when it comes to decisions, its a coin-toss between taking the absolute correct decision or hitting the brakes(brakes will suffice for 95% of decisions, and if not, you're speeding or following to close). Once stopped at an intersection, there is no reason to proceed until you're certain you should.

[-] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 17 points 11 months ago

My ex gf of 30yo(at the time of breakup) got into an accident a few months she started to drive(18yo at the time), some asshat driving a pickup decided to run the red light and hit her car, and her car flipped, almost killed her. She never drive since then. Driving is incredibly dangerous tbh and people never seems to realise that, so i can understand how oop feel.

[-] squaresinger@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

This.

Driving is a highly dangerous activity that really only people who are qualified and fit enough for it should do.

Yet we made whole regions dependant on driving. Depending on the country, driving licenses are handed out to kids after a 2h course and we let old, demented and totally unfit people drive as if it was a basic human right.

We wouldn't let just anyone drive a small forklift at low speeds, because we understand that to be dangerous, but just about anyone can drive a heavy truck or SUV at high speeds.

[-] rimu@piefed.social 11 points 11 months ago

It's not for everyone. About 10% of people almost never drive. Up to 20% in urban areas of countries with good public transport.

[-] azimir@lemmy.ml 10 points 11 months ago

It's fine.

It's good to know how for an emergency, but really not required, especially if you choose to live in a location with more walkable neighborhoods and modern public transit (a rarity in the US, but doable).

About 30% of US homes don't even own a car.

Build the life YOU want to have, not what people tell you is normal or correct.

[-] Foexle@feddit.org 7 points 11 months ago

I support your decision not to drive, and I can relate to your situation, I had a simular experience back when I was fresh out of driving school. I would advise you to at least drive a bit, with someone who has experience in driving and who you trust. Roads that you know, that you feel comfortable. I'm a bit worried that you otherwise develop a more deep fear of driving all together. And depending on the region you're living in, you might be required to drove, to get a loved one to a doktor, for example. And you don't need to drive all the time, or never, you can also decide just to switch sometimes, depending on how you feel. The first time after an accident is defenetly the hardest. But I'm happy that I did it at some point. Even tho I mostly use public transport today. Just cause I knew, if I would need o drive at one point, I could.

[-] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

If you're not going to drive, you're going to need to account for that with the rest of what you do. If you move somewhere like NYC that has working mass transit, it's not a problem. Most people here don't drive, or drive rarely. Not driving (or not even owning a car) is a viable option.

If on the other hand you want to live in some suburb where the nearest food is 3 miles away with no sidewalks , you're going to have a bad time.

edit: clarity

[-] neon_nova@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 11 months ago

If you live in an area with good public transportation then I think it is fine.

But it could cause you problems in life if you do not learn. In my hometown, busses didn’t run on Sunday and they had trouble with work because it was hard for them to get a ride in. They had to ask others to drive them.

Also consider if you ever get married and there is some kind of emergency, it would be beneficial for you to be able to drive your partner to the hospital.

Even if you live in a city now, you may get a job elsewhere someday and driving might be necessary.

As much as I hate driving, I think it is a skill that most people need to learn and be competent at.

My wife is going to learn to drive this year for the above reasons. You just never know when you might NEED to drive.

[-] BreakerSwitch@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

Absolutely get the anxiety, though I will agree with your family that it's a basic skill. Astonishingly, a significant number of jobs here in the US require a driver's license, even if driving isn't part of the job responsibilities. A friend of mine is hitting this right now and it's making their life a lot harder.

[-] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 0 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Driving suck but is neccessary in a lot of places these days. I manage to avoid as much as I can but RTO mandates can only be ignored for so long

[-] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 11 months ago

Only necessary because we make it necessary.

[-] Hansae@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 11 months ago

*unless you live in a rural area, believe me its necessary then.

[-] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com -1 points 11 months ago

because we make it necessary

Shut the fuck up with that "rural needs cars" bullshit.

[-] Hansae@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 11 months ago

Ive lived in a rural area & cities before lol, cars are needed in rural regions unfortunately. Cities however have very little need for them.

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[-] stardustwager@lemm.ee 0 points 11 months ago

Sounds like someone who is very immature and irresponsible for their actions.

[-] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 11 months ago

Her father? I agree. She's the one trying to act responsibly.

this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
34 points (94.7% liked)

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