Goddamn AI slop.
You don't remember buying an Xbox 260 in 2805?
Back in my day, AIs would play chess and murder people and pretend to be human and maybe get that wish granted.
Oh how times change.
Made the following along the lines of the old SEGA ads back in the day, then ran it thru ChatGPT for formatting help.
Hope this ok to share; just fun / not trying to AI spam / posting here for enjoyment.
Super Pretendo 5 — Retro Reinvented
Front of Box
Logo: Super Pretendo 5™ Tagline: Don’t spend $80 to play Mario Kart. Do more with less.
Hero art: Rico parachuting in JC2 + Mario Kart Wii chaos.
Badges:
- Xbox 360, PS4 and Wiimote Ready
- Playnite Console UI
- Optimized for Wii / GC / PS2 4.PC Prestige Collection
Back of Box
Headline: Your old games. New life. One tiny box.
Features:
🎮 Console Feel – Couch-ready, controller-first, TV-native.
🧠 Smart Power – i7-4785T + Intel HD 4600 wrung dry for HD.
📦 Backlog Optimized & Upscaled – Super Mario Sunshine, Mario Kart, Shadow of the Colossus, Fallout 3, Just Cause 2 … and many more
✨ Switch Modes:
-
Crunchy Mode → Wii-like smoothness @ 60 FPS.
-
Cinematic Mode → 1366p sharper fidelity.
🔧 Thrift Engineered – A$200 (~US$130) total build cost → complete console-like system.
≈ 3× cheaper than PS5 / Xbox Series X (~A$800).
The Prestige Collection(TM)
PC Ports Tested & Couch Ready on the Super Pretendo 5
60 FPS Locked
-
Portal 2
-
Deus Ex: Human Revolution
-
Dead Rising 2
-
Assassin’s Creed II
-
Superhot
-
Firewatch
-
Half-Life 2
-
Mass Effect 2
30+ FPS
-
Metal Gear Solid V
-
Grand Theft Auto IV
-
Bayonetta
-
Fallout 4
-
Witcher 2
-
Bioshock Infinite
-
Dishonored
-
Prey
… and many more
Special Note
Just Cause 2 → Crunchy Mode: Locked 60 FPS @ 960×540 (VSync on — 84 FPS with VSync off). Cinematic Mode: ~45 FPS @ 1366×768.
Screenshots Panel
Mario Kart Wii — native vs. 2× IR
Just Cause 2 — 60 FPS wingsuit chaos
Fallout 3 — Remastered & Upscaled, 60 FPS
Fine Print
Super Pretendo 5™ is a DIY build. Capable of playing thousands of retro titles + select modern/indie games from the 2015–2025 era, including Superhot, Firewatch, Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, Cult of the Lamb, and more.
Thousands of 6th gen console classics at 2× upscale. Prestige ports tested for couch play.
Comparison Chart
System Cost (AUD)
- Super Pretendo 5 ~A$200
- Xbox 360 (2005) ~A$700
- Nintendo Switch ~A$470
- PS5 / Series X ~A$800
Footer Slogan
“Don’t spend $80 to play Mario Kart again. Do more with less.”
You’re not trying to AI spam; you succeeded Ike a pro.
And I hate it.
Come on, man, this could have been an easy job in GIMP or PhotoShop and it would have looked better too.
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