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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hot-Cartographer-578 on 2023-07-20 07:40:22.
Last year, my (33M) and my brother Ben's (31M) grandmother passed away, leaving behind a reasonably large house in a small coastal town. This house is the stuff of picture postcards — a lovely Victorian-era home with a view of the sea. It has been in our family for generations, and it holds an immense amount of sentimental value for all of us, particularly for my younger brother, Ben (31M).
Since we were children, Ben has always been enchanted by that house. He'd spend hours exploring every nook and cranny, daydreaming about the life he'd lead there. As we grew older, his dream never wavered — he wanted to live in that house.
When our grandmother's will was read, it turned out she had left the house to me. I was living in the city, happily settled with my own family and career. Ben, on the other hand, was still living paycheck to paycheck, constantly in between jobs, and often borrowing money from our parents or me.
Seeing the state of the house after our grandmother's passing, it was clear it needed serious renovation. There were issues with the plumbing, the roof needed repairs, and the old wiring was a safety hazard. All these renovations were necessary to make the house habitable, and they would cost a significant amount of money. Money that Ben didn't have and I wasn't in a position to provide without jeopardizing my own family's financial stability.
Taking all this into account, I deciding selling the house was the best option. The housing market was favorable, and we stood to make a considerable profit from the sale. My plan was to split the money equally. I wasn't in dire need of all the money as we lived somewhat comfortable and this way, Ben would have a substantial amount to clear his debts and could rent or even buy a smaller place where he could start afresh.
Ben proposed I sold the house to him at a considerably lower price than the market value. I declined this offer as the amount he was offering was significantly less and almost all of his savings leaving very little left in terms of living costs and expenses. I told him that it wasn't a good idea for him, nor was it beneficial to me and my family, whereas selling it for a much higher value on the open market and splitting the money with him, meant we both walk away much more financially stable.
Ben was heartbroken and accused me of betraying him and selling off his dream. I tried to explain my perspective, that it was for his own good, but he saw it as me being pragmatic at the cost of his feelings. He stopped talking to me, and the rest of our family took his side saying I was selfish.
This whole situation has left me riddled with guilt. I never wanted to upset Ben, but I genuinely believed — and still believe — that selling the house was in our best interest, especially his.