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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/DrBlackJack21 on 2025-11-26 22:51:11+00:00.
Great...time to make teams. People who already knew each other had already grouped up, and now teams of two and three were looking to integrate with other groups whose team comps complemented their own. I always feel awkward just walking up to people and asking if they want to work together on something. Luckily, Darien has no such hang-ups.
Darien walked right up to a group of four women, one of whom was the warlock from before, and all of whom were giving him what appeared to be unwelcoming glares. As usual, he was totally unperturbed by their hostility as he waved his greeting. "Hey, I'm Darien, a tank, and this is my friend, Cai, he's a healer. You wouldn't happen to all be damage dealers, would you? That would really make this easy!"
The girls all looked back and forth between each other before Lillith spoke up. "Well, we do need a tank and a support..."
The girl with the ponytail glared at Lillith. "I thought we were going to get two more women to join our group. What's with these guys?"
Lillith shook her head and nodded toward Darien. "Oh, this one is harmless. I'm pretty sure I could even teach him some tricks if need be."
Of course, Darien was just standing there grinning like he either didn't realise she was basically calling him a golden retriever, or that he didn't care. I would not have been surprised either way.
Then Lilith jerked her thumb toward me. "And this one is already taken, so we don't have to worry about him being...a problem."
That line confused me. "Taken? I'm not..."
But before I could say anything else, Darien was already talking over me. "Oh yeah, he's totally taken. Dame Freya has her sights set on this one!"
My confusion only grew as I scrunched my eyebrows. "What? No, she doesn't!"
However, Darien would not be dissuaded as he regained the girl's attention. "She gave him her personal phone number!"
All four sets of eyes turned back to me as I protested. "It's not like that! She just wanted to help out a prospective Eskalad..."
Darien drew the women's attention back to him. "And she took him out for a super special personal training session!"
Again, all four sets of eyes returned to me as I corrected him. "Don't make it sound like that! You were there too!"
Darien only laughed as he regained their attention. "Dude, I was an afterthought! You were the one she was after! I was only there because I'm your friend!" Then, he leaned in closer to the four women, as if sharing something scandalous. "And afterword, she took him back to his room, and when I checked on him later, they were in bed...together!"
The way all four women turned back to me again was starting to make this feel like some weird tennis match as I protested one last time. "Okay, it was not at all like he's making it sound. I was unconscious when she carried me to my room, and when he walked in, she was just sitting on the side of my bed because she was checking on me to make sure I wasn't going to die or something. That's all that happened!"
That was when I felt a presence behind me. Everyone froze as though some monster loomed just over my shoulder. I half turned to see Freya hop up onto the raised table right behind me. She then leaned over and rested her elbows on my shoulders, literally draping herself over me in an oddly possessive manner as she addressed the women. "Ladies, I see you've got your eyes on my prized pupil here!"
Despite her casual posture, I felt as if I were trapped in a steel vice grip. Everyone else seemed stunned into silence in her presence, but I couldn't help but voice my confusion at the absurdity of the situation. "What's...going on here?"
Suddenly, one of Freya's fingers was pressed against my lips as she spoke softly, but loud enough for everyone in the immediate vicinity to hear. "Hush now, the women are talking!"
I could only blink away my confusion as Freya then slightly raised her voice, addressing the four women directly again. "Listen, in the short term, you don't have anything to worry about when it comes to competing with me. For one thing, I like my climbing partners to be sturdier. At the current difference in our strength, one involuntary twitch or spasm on my part, and I could accidentally break every bone in this kid's body!" I suddenly felt very nervous about how she was draped over me, but if Freya could sense my discomfort, she didn't show it as she continued. "And if, down the road, he's ever strong enough to join me, it'll only be because he's strong enough to be in the very best of the ascention parties ever to climb the tower, so his party will be fortunate to have him, even if they have to...share...occasionally."
For a moment, I wondered to myself, just why was Dame Freya so taken with me? I had told myself it was because, in our first meeting, I'd exceeded her expectations for someone just beginning to climb the tower, but that didn't explain this level of attachment. Taking me out for special, if nightmarish, training sessions, favoring me in class, calling me her "prized pupil," and personally endorsing me to my potential party... These were all things far beyond what our brief interactions thus far would warrant...
My thoughts were interrupted as the four women finally broke out of their daze and spoke amongst themselves again for a moment. All I heard was, "Freya's protege!" from one of them before Freya leaned over to whisper into my ear, "Go get 'em, tiger!" Then, in a flash, she was gone.
A moment later, Ponytail turned back to me to speak for the group. "Alright. We'll give you a trial run and see what you're capable of in the tower. If things don't work out, we'll go back to our original plan of looking for more women to fill the roster, but, if you can pull your weight and show us you really can be a part of the 'very best acention parties ever to climb the tower,' then we might be willing to make it a more permanent thing..."
Darien looked like he was about to burst with excitement. "Well, I'm a gladiator class, tank build, like I said. I have Charge, Shield bash, vengeance, and, after our super special training session, damage resistance!"
I raised my eyebrow, and I wasn't the only one who was surprised. Another of the women, this one a brunette, looked surprised as she asked, "You already got a fourth skill?"
Darien nodded toward me. "Benefits of running with this guy! Our training session last night was pretty intense!" I considered explaining it wasn't so much intense as insane, but decided to leave it be. They'd be figuring it out for themselves soon enough.
I was about to introduce myself when miss blond ponytail beat me to the punch. She was wearing a blue-and-gold outfit. It was conservatively cut despite its tight fit. "I'm Elise, an arcane archer. I have tracking shot, elemental shot, and backstep."
I nodded appreciatively. Arcane archers were often seen as providing less raw damage than a true mage, but they usually made up for that through versatility. They could change to any of the basic elements, as well as physical damage, meaning they could take advantage of almost any monster's weakness. Additionally, mana was less of a concern since they could just fire regular arrows in a pinch.
Next up was a rather fierce-looking woman. She was well-muscled, pale, and almost as tall as my man mountain friend Darien. She had what sounded like an Eastern European accent. "I'm Bellatrix. I'm a frenzied duelist specializing in greatswords. My skills are frenzy, two-handed blades, and sunder." She was the brunette with long hair, some of which was tied back with a large ornate hairpin to keep it out of her eyes, which were a shade of brown that bordered on red in the current light. Or maybe they were just reflecting the light from her red-and-black outfit. The whole ensemble was complemented by some thigh-high leather boots that would probably be prohibitively expensive to replace if they got damaged in the tower, which I imagine would be a regular occurrence. On the other hand, they'd probably protect from damage better than cloth pants, so maybe they served some purpose.
At this point, an equally fierce-looking but more petite woman with a tanned complexion grinned wickedly. Continuing the world tour, I'd place her accent as South American. "I'm Nyx, a fencer. I have dancer's grace, parry, and mobility." She certainly moved like a dancer, but I had no doubt she was probably quicker to bury a blade in someone's back than put on a show. Still, having someone who can move quickly and easily about a chaotic battle, able to intercept quickly moving threats before they reach the backline, could be a real asset.
Last was Lilith, who looked as bored as ever. "I'm Lilith, a warlock. I have fairy fire, tempting touch, and Shadowbind."
I blinked in surprise. "Wait, fairy fire? You weren't joking about getting your power from a fairy queen?"
Lilith's eyes flashed in annoyance as though she got asked that far more often than she liked as she answered. "No, I wasn't joking. Thank you for rubbing that in. Would you also like to talk about my dead parents?"
Feeling suddenly awkward, I started to stammer an apology, only for Elise to...
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