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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/taurian13 on 2025-12-18 01:38:37+00:00.

The kid was young enough to still ask stupid questions.

That’s how "Threx" knew he was new.

They were sitting at the edge of the pub, real pub, not a learning hall, not a civic space. The kind of place where adults told the truth sideways and with alcohol involved. The drinks steamed and hissed between them.

Threx tapped his claws on the table. “I don’t get it,” he said. “Humans are… weak. Slow reflexes. Short-lived. Their tech is only adequate. Why does everyone panic whenever humans are nearby?”

The table went quiet.

Not dramatic quiet. Practical quiet.

Old "Varn", whose species had outlived three empires, leaned back and sighed. “They teach you the reason in school.”

Threx flicked his ears. “Yeah. Something about treaties and deterrence and historical overreaction.”

Varn snorted. “That’s the version that fits on a test.”

He gestured to the bartender. “Pour the kid something educational.”

“Listen carefully,” Varn said, voice low. “Because you won’t hear this again unless you ask the wrong question in the wrong room.”

Threx leaned in.

“Long before you were hatched,” Varn began, “there was a group. Raiders. Slavers. Hostage-takers. Name doesn’t matter. They’d been doing it for centuries.”

“Everyone knew them,” another alien at the table added. “Everyone hated them.”

“And everyone tried to reason with them,” Varn said. “Sanctions. Negotiations. Joint patrols. Amnesty deals. Cultural outreach.”

Threx frowned. “Didn’t work?”

Varn smiled thinly. “It worked just enough to keep the raids profitable.”

The kid shifted uncomfortably.

“Then one day,” Varn continued, “they took humans. Civilians. Broadcast it. Made demands.”

“And?” Threx asked.

“And the humans didn’t send soldiers,” Varn said. “They sent a government response.”

Varn took a long drink.

“No threats. No speeches. Just paperwork.”

Threx blinked. “Paperwork?”

“The humans reclassified the incident,” Varn said. “From crime… to systemic threat.”

One of the others muttered, “That’s when the Geneva Checklists unlocked.”

Threx tilted his head. “Geneva… what?”

Varn waved a claw dismissively. “Rules humans wrote to restrain themselves. And a list of which ones they’re allowed to break when restraint stops working.”

The kid’s frill stiffened.

“They didn’t attack the raiders,” Varn said. “They erased everything that made raiding possible.”

“Fleets,” another alien said. “Supply chains,” said a third. “Financial systems,” Varn added. “Gene vaults. Shipyards. Even their history archives.”

Threx whispered, “That’s genocide.”

Varn nodded. “Yes.”

No one rushed to contradict him.

“The galaxy screamed,” Varn said. “Condemnations. Emergency councils. Moral outrage.”

Threx nodded eagerly. “See? So humans were—”

“Wrong?” Varn interrupted. “Maybe.”

He leaned forward.

“But the raids stopped. Everywhere. Permanently.”

Threx hesitated.

“They’d never stopped before,” Varn continued. “Not in centuries. Not with diplomacy. Not with force.”

One of the others spoke softly. “For the first time, future projections showed fewer deaths.”

Varn looked the kid straight in the eyes. “That’s the part they don’t teach you.”

Threx swallowed. “So… that’s why?”

“That’s why,” Varn said, “every government now has the same unspoken rule.”

He recited it like a nursery rhyme:

If humans are present, resolve the situation immediately. Contain it. Concede if necessary. Do not let it become a pattern.

“Because humans don’t see villains,” Varn said. “They see process failures.”

“And when humans fix a process,” another alien added, “they fix it forever.”

Threx stared at his drink. “But humans don’t even seem that scary.”

Varn chuckled, tired and humorless. “Exactly.”

Varn stood, placing a few credits on the table.

“Humans are weak individually. Mediocre by galactic metrics. Not especially smart.”

He paused.

“But they are thorough. And they don’t stop once they decide something must not happen again.”

He nodded toward the door. “That’s why nobody fucks with humans, kid.”

As they left, Threx asked quietly, “So… were the humans right?”

Varn didn’t answer.