9
top 9 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] folaht@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

For it to work on all Nintendo, SEGA and playstation consoles.
Oh, and not to forget Steam as well.

Unless you mean like a three wishes genie in a lamp kind of thing, then I'd like for all wishes to be canceled.

And uhmmm... I can't remember what you said, what was the question again?

[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms “You have finally freed me after all these years, so I’ll grant each one of you 3 wishes.”

The first guy immediately blurts out “I want a billion dollars.” POOF, he’s holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1.000.000.003.50.

The second man thinks for a bit, then says “I want to be the richest man alive.” POOF, he’s holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.

The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says “I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life.” POOF, his arm starts rotating.

The Genie tells them it’s time for their second wish.

First guy says: “I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth.” POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.

Second guy says “I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want.” POOF, his looks change and the first guy’s wife immediately starts flirting with him.

Third guy says “I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die.” POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.

First guy does, and after a while says “I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die.” POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don’t bother him any more.

Second guy says “I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever.” POOF, he looks younger already.

Third guy smiles triumphantly and says “My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth.” POOF, he’s now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways. Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going.

First guy is ecstatic: “I’ve invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I’ve never gotten so much as a cold in all these years.”

Second guy smiles and says “Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I’m still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven’t aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed.”

Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says: “Guys, I think I fucked up.”

[-] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago

I was expecting the third guy to wish for his arms to stop flailing and then he dies

[-] TachyonTele@piefed.social 6 points 3 days ago

My parents said I was a wish come true.

[-] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

Literally a horse with an injured leg.

[-] charonn0@startrek.website 4 points 3 days ago

A glass of warm tap water.

[-] optissima@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 days ago

Non-functional legs?

[-] Nemo@slrpnk.net 2 points 3 days ago

more wishes

you're not special

[-] folaht@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Your two wishes have been granted,
you now are permanently ill,
lost all of your money,
and I stopped being a genie.

this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2025
9 points (100.0% liked)

Shitty Ask Lemmy

1496 readers
18 users here now

its like r/shittyaskreddit except its lemmy

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS