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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/rewt66dewd on 2025-12-21 01:52:50+00:00.

Tom Roberts was working on a leaky pipe when Xuchx came to talk to him.

Tom didn't like Xuchx. Tom didn't like most of his shipmates.

"We're closing in on a human ship!" Xuchx exclaimed. "And it has the most ridiculous name! Are you ready for this? It's the Suzie Q".

Tom stared for a moment, mouth open. Then he dropped his tools and ran for the bridge.

He barged in without asking permission, which was highly against protocol. "How close are we to gun range?" he demanded.

They all stared at him.

"How. Close."

"Um... seven minutes to gun range," Nav finally said.

Tom stood up straight. "Then listen up, dirtbags," he announced. "Three years ago, you destroyed my ship. I survived, and you offered me a choice. I could join you, or I could die. I joined you. Now you have the same choice. You can surrender to that ship, or you can die in a very few minutes."

'What? You want us to surrender to a freighter? Why?"

"Because it's not a freighter. It's what we humans call a 'Q ship' - a ship that looks like a good target, but it is actually armed, and armed very well. We are now at a range where it can hit us, but we can't hit it for another... five minutes now. And don't bother trying to run, either - it has far more engine than you think from its exterior, and it's faster than we are."

The captain stared at Tom, in anger but also in fear. Finally he asked, "What are the odds that this ship is what you claim it is? How sure are you?"

"100 percent," Tom said. "It's the Suzie Q. I know the name. I know that's what it is. It's about as powerful as a Terran Alliance frigate."

Now the captain was staring only in fear. Finally told Com to open a channel to the Suzie Q.

"This is the captain of the Floxma's Malice. We surrender to you."

"We accept your surrender. Stand by to be boarded."

"This is a prisoner-of-war interrogation. Anything you say can and will be used against you. Please state your name."

"I am Tom Roberts. I was on the Norwegian Rose. We got attacked by pirates. These pirates. They breached the hull, which killed almost everyone on board. Then they searched the ship. I was in engineering, making myself a lifeboat against the vacuum. When they found me, they gave me a choice. I could join them, or I could die right then and there. With those options, I chose to join."

"I see. And what did you do for the pirates?"

"I kept their ship running. You could say that I contributed to their success against several ships."

"Did you, personally, ever kill anyone?"

"Not on a ship we attacked, no. But I did kill three of the crew."

"Why?"

"They messed with me."

"I... see. Well, you have 'mitigating circumstances'. I don't know if that's enough for you to avoid prison. That's not my call. But I can tell you that, with these circumstances, it won't be too long a sentence."

"Three years working for pirates, and then a few years in prison, still beats being dead right then."

"Working for pirates? Not being a pirate?"

"No. Well, I mean, I guess technically I was, since I was on their ship working for them. But I never considered myself to be one of them. I was going to get free of them if I ever got a chance."

"I see. By any chance, do you have any intel on their home base?"

Tom smiled. "By chance, yes, I do."

The interrogator mirrored Tom's smile.