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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/Lakeel100 on 2025-12-21 12:41:30+00:00.

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“Wasn't that shirt covered in blood?” Soapy asked as the trio rode the main elevator down to the Sabu-kai’s lower floors… which were technically the Great Library's lower floors. Supposedly as old as the structure itself, if not for the obvious renovations done over the centuries.

“It was,” Movva commented, idly swaying on her paws as the elevator took them down… and down… and even further down. She still had the same outfit as she had earlier during the fight. A white cropped ‘Pynk Tigress’ t-shirt, suspenders, and cut shorts of a strange blue fabric from the humans called denim… or were they called daisy-dukes for the fabric…? Either way, they were definitely a bloody mess after the brawl eight hours ago.

“Do you just have extra pairs or…?” She led, trying to make small talk over the dainty elevator music filling their ears. It was just them in there, because the hosts only allowed one group on the elevator at a time… For safety reasons.

Tobby’s ears had been flicking between the two as they struggled to go back and forth, but it seemed he had the answer to that. “Soda water and baking soda.”

Soapy blinked at the mention of cooking ingredients, “Huh?” Cooking was always more BB’s thing, whereas eating said cooking was hers.

Tobby lit up, seeing an opportunity to be a know-it-all; she’d allow it. “Thanks to the carbonation, you can often use soda water before the stain sets in to get it out.” He said excitedly, tapping his claws together as Movva nodded in agreement. “Baking soda technically does something similar, but is more effective than soda water once the stain has had time to set. If it’s really sticking, you can mix in some hydrogen peroxide from any medicine cabinet and-”

Sweet spirits, it was like the museum all over again. It was cute when he got excited, but it also meant he was on the verge of a tangent. Likely about the long and colorful history of baking soda or something. “You know, I'm pretty sure most people would be creeped out by the fact you two know how to remove blood stains that easily.”

“And you don’t?” Movva asked, flicking an ear.

“Don’t really need to? I usually just stick my clothes in the washing machine up in the residential part of the clubhouse. If any are still stained, I just run them two or three more times, and that usually works. How many times did you do yours?”

“Once~” she said rather proudly.

“I doubt that…”

“But it's true.” Movva shrugged. “After I got my nose uncrunched and a baggie of my emergency blood put back in me, I put them in the wash, and when they were done, I put them back on and went to pick you two up.”

Tobby quirked his ear and brow, doing some mental math. “You had your laundry going for six hours?”

“Not… exactly,” Movva said, continuing to sway on her paws, innocently.

“I wouldn't question it any further, Tobby…” Soapy tried to warn, but it seemed his radar ears went deaf in the face of curiosity.

“What were you doing to your clothes that would possibly require them to be in the machine for over an hour, much less six?” Too late.. He’d asked.

Movva hummed, not making eye contact as she looked at the mirrors on the ceiling of the old elevator instead. “Do you want graphic details, or is me saying it involved Jek and the washing machine being conveniently waist high enough for you?”

Soapy facepalmed as her assumptions were correct, but Tobby’s innocent bean brain took a second. “Pinky!” There he goes… “For six hours?!”

Movva shrugged a little defensively, if not nonchalantly. “What? We took breaks. I’m failing to see the issue here.”

Tobby clearly saw the issue. “How many times do I have to tell you not to leave your clothes sitting in the washing machine. I didn’t spend my weekends helping you pick them out just so you can let them sour in the wash and forever smell like mildew!”

Well… nevermind. He wasn’t upset for the reason Soapy thought.

DING!!

The gilded doors of the elevator slid open, revealing the ‘foyer’ of this year's Sabu-Kai. It was day two of the event, which meant almost all of the gangs present got to dress far more casually, as the next three nights were basically their opportunity to mingle and party without territorial lines. In reality, all of this was just to keep them busy while the bosses argued upstairs.

The foyer itself looked as fancy as any upper-end hotel lobby, but unlike said hotels, the odds of all this stonework being real were far higher. It was also the closest thing to a central shaft between the top and bottom floors that the ancient tunnels had. A series of ornate staircases and elevators were in place to ferry sha-kai to whatever floor they desired, and Great Library staff were on claw to make sure things stayed civil. In fact… there was more staff down here than she ever saw upstairs in the actual library.

“You have no idea how hard it is to get mildew funk out of clothes, do you?” Tobby asked as the group stepped out of the elevator, and Soapy tuned back into the conversation.

“Yes, I do, moooom!” Movva groaned, throwing her head back dramatically.

“I know you’re not listening to me.” He huffed, folding his arms to emphasise how much he was glaring at her.

“Just send me to my room already! It’s not like you’re my real mom anyway,” She groaned louder, slumping as she really went for the bit. She imagined this was a very common sight for the two… Reason and impulse, best friends.

Amusing as the display might be, Soapy idly reached over and pinched one of the event maps from the back pocket of a passing thug and unfurled it. “Let’s see… what all do they have this year?”

The map reminded Soapy of the cheap and colorful ones they gave out at amusement parks, not that she’d ever been to a proper one, seeing as most closed down ages ago. Primarily just a 2D view of the Great Library underground in proportion to the Nyathen’s Mesa. Each region had a color and a subsection about the amenities provided there.

“Sooo, what are we doing first?” Movva asked, her head suddenly over Soapy’s shoulder, and more importantly, all up in her personal space.

“Ah!” Soapy flinched away from the pink exotic and crumpled the map in the process. “Shihere’s tits, don't sneak up on me like that.”

Cue Tobby, standing on her opposite side already looking at her like ‘really?’ “Oh, so it’s okay when you do it to me, but not when someone does it to you?”

“Yes! I mean, no… I mean…” She glanced between him and the crumpled map before opening it back up. A perfect way to change the subject. Admittedly, she didn’t make it this far the last time she attended the Sabu-kai, ‘cause of slashing Clard's face and all. So this was all new to her.

“I'm thinking we start high and work our way down,” Movva said, having already reclaimed her place in Soapy’s personal space, head over her shoulder.

Tobby, following Movva’s example, took Soapy’s other shoulder. Despite how utterly violated her personal space felt, she looked at the map.

B0: Foyer, ballroom, meeting chambers, and exit elevators.

“That’s where we are,” Tobby commented.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Movva quipped.

“You’re welcome, Sergeant Sarcastic.” Tobby snipped back. Yep… lifelong friends.

B1: Main clubhouse, fifteen different bars, and a dance hall. Bands include:...

“Hey, Soapy, ever seen Tobby drink before?” Movva smirked.

Now that Soapy thought about it. “No… Never actually.” Which was weird given how much of the stuff he handled on the daily.

“Don't encourage her,” Tobby grumbled with the veracity of someone with a virgin liver.

B2: Casino, Sha-tal & Bap-tal ring, sports betting, and another bar. All bets are final, money up front.

Soapy felt two pairs of eyes looking at her. “What? Just cause a place has a bap-tal ring doesn’t mean I’m scratching up the walls trying to get in it.”

Movva nodded. “True, but I am shameless enough to try and reverse psychology you into getting in that ring, and I’m also sure a little peer pressure from Tobby will help too.”

“Don’t get me involved in this,” Tobby protested.

Soapy could only sigh. “Tomorrow. I’m all brawled out for today. For obvious reasons.” She started before, briefly glaring at Movva: Baleful Destroyer of Innocent Shi’s Panties.

B3: Spas, salons, and massage parlors with techniques and talent sourced from all over Salafor… and beyond! They’ll fix things you didn't even know were wrong! There’s also a bar!

Soapy's head snapped to Tobby. “Not. A. Word!” she growled.

“I wasn’t going to say anything! I just thought you enjoyed the last one I took you to-”

Movva snickered. “Oh, tough shi actually enjoyed the trip to Pretty Pebbles?”

“Damn it, Tobby!”

“What?” He shrank. “There’s nothing wrong with enjoying it. I kinda want to try this one, too.”

“Someone wants his ears ruuubbed~” Movva tittered in a sing-songy voice before shifting to a scandalous whisper. “Ear slut~”

Tobby, as expected, bristled up a little and tucked his ears back. “How many times do I have to say to stop calling me that?”

“More if it’s still so fun to say,” she taunted, but grinned deviously after “Or just ask Soapy to do it, I'm sure she won’...

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1ps5ndc/the_ballad_of_orange_tobby_ch44/