I don't know how many of those are legit and how many are humorous
First row is real. Second row, not so much.
That said, the "one big nucleon" is pretty close in concept to a neutron star. It needs a few more nucleons than there are in a single atom though. Just a few. And it's not really a decay mode as it is a gravitational effect.
It's also kind of reminiscent of superatoms - clusters of atoms that act like one single atom - but that is very much not the same. (The nuclei aren't fused. They maintain regular, sensible, atomic distances. Electrons are free to pass between. etc.)
What do you mean? They're all completely real
Can you prove that the collapse due to the invasion of the sea people isn't real? Until you can, I fully accept it as a real type of decay.
Electron capture is neat and there is also :
Double electron capture
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_electron_capture
holy shit electron capture 2
The skull presumably represents the finality of such a decay, given that the end stage of human decay leaves behind a skeleton, something that does not exist in nucleons. [citation needed]
xkcd
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