Just wanna say I was here when this became the first Lemmy meme

Im dying at the urgency. "Guys tell me how to not shit for 3 days AND DONT ASK QUESTIONS DAMNIT"

I've heard that Robert Zemeckis is interested in your story. He mentioned something about filming "Pooped Away"...

Sunflower seeds

I love that this is the flagship viral post for the new popular Lemmy. At this point, OP's reason for not pooping is tertiary to the entertainment! Also, I'm pretty sure it's just social anxiety.

The transformation is complete we are officially better than reddit.

Are you being human trafficked?

Legendary post

This is God-tier Meme master content, well done OP

Remember to bring the poo knife

so this is where Lemmys lore began

Steak and eggs, it's what astronauts use to not shit for days. your body absorbs most of the material rather than excreting it. your looking for anything "low residue".

Alright. I'm giving you this advice because I've done it on a camping trip but it was only a single night. I usually go once or twice a day. I just didn't want to deal with digging a hole and it was only a single night in my case. I just took some anti diarrhea medicine to constipate myself lol. I don't remember how much, maybe even less than a whole dose.

Please read the labels and follow the instructions, it might not necessarily be safe over three days. Also imagine getting stopped up so bad that you have to go to the doctor about it then having to explain this. Just be careful. You're not saying why you refuse to go so only you can judge if it is worth it.

That said, I know someone who claims to only poop once a week and they claim their doctor said that was "within normal parameters" so who knows. But I have also heard stories of people having to go to the doctor and get an enema because they're so constipated.

This post is truly glorious, this should be the founding exhibit of the museum of Lemmy.

I am truly grateful to witness this moment.

In case OP is still with us, my advice would be anti diarrhoea medication, consume minimum liquids, avoid fibre, pack MREs which are often formulated to be a bit constipating. But above all, question why on earth you would be doing this in the first place!

Some armies use cheese to reduce frequency of bowel movements.

Just tell us the reason.

I reckon that when you finally go, you'll need a poop knife to get that grogan down the hopper.

Avoid fiber like plague

There are many people in long term care homes who survive only on nutritional drinks.

Keep in mind that you'll need to put your plan into action a few days in advance because you'll still have food working its way through your system a day or two after your last solid meal.

I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud

My guess: Airsoft or paintball MilSim (Military-Simulation) operation. OP is a sniper. There is an ambush. Long-shot: re-enactment of The killing of Osama Bin Laden. OP's crush is there. OP's butthole is sore, so they want a few days of no toilets to allow their bottom to heal.

This is the birth of something great

Well... just don't eat. You don't need to eat for 3 days to survive during that time

Mysterious post indeed. Yet, it's the asking of such an intimate, specific question in the most open of spaces what I find truly fascinating 😶