I don't think there is a single person behaves that way online that thinks it doesn't change the person they are IRL. It's just online they have the balls to be the person they really want to be.
I know a couple of people (brothers) who definitely thought that online wasn't real and they could act without any consequences in their real life. This was back in the 00's when social media was just catching on. They were absolutely awful to real life friends online and then acted like nothing happened in person. They lost pretty much every friend they had as a result of it. I still don't talk to either of them. We tried to explain to them multiple times that it was absolutely unacceptable behavior, and they thought it was funny.
Zizek says that our online persona is our real persona, because it doesn't have the weights and limitations of our physical bodies and can be free to express as itself.
I don’t know, this sounds very mind body duality to me but I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume such a duality exists?
I think being removed from legal or social ramifications enables a lot of misbehavior. If there were social or legal ramifications for online behavior, then maybe people would behave consistently online and offline. In fact, you see that with places like LinkedIn.
Before social media, “trolling” was a game of inciting reactions without malicious intent. IIRC the norm was to induce anger or reaction or exhaustion without using violent language, like death threats etc. But of course people always behave stupidly for any number of reasons! The death threat people, from my old school pov, are not OG trolls. The death threat people are politically motivated actors or sociopaths.
So I think it’s less about being real online vs fake, and more about what you’re doing vs everyone else. If you’re looking for a cozy time online, then someone coming in to incite reaction by being contrarian (because that’s interesting to them) would seem aggravating to you, and that’s just unkind of the contrarian person (or troll).
If you’re shitposting and assume everyone is just a troll trolling trolls (and that’s true), then all interactions are performative and a game. However this cannot apply anymore because the rules of engagement on the web have changed, and there a lot more people online now with different needs and different expectations. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being inclusive. The chans etc. are filled with glowies or nation state actors, so it’s not worth engaging in old school trolling in any form because you just provide convenient camouflage for people with malicious intent or political agendas.
So in short no, I don’t think body vs non body is the reason for differences in irl or online behavior.
I think this as well. People in on-line video games are so quick to flame, troll, and ruin a game. But Ask them if they think it reflects poorly on them and they'll either get defensive, victim-blame, or say they were just joking. They complain about having bad community scores in these games, and blame literally everyone else before they can admit any semblance of culpability. Saw it in DOTA 2, saw it in Smite, and every other online forum.
However, we all lose our cool sometimes. I am usually the chillest dude on the server, but if I've had 3 games in a row of being flamed, trolled, having teammates quit, and on that fourth game some teammate "woohoo's" my death? I'm already so steamed from the previous games that I'll unleash a nasty comment right back, even if the dude accidentally hit the wrong emoticon thing. And if they are legit trolling, and I'm fed up? yeah, that's definitely a nasty message right back at'em.
I guess I'm trying to say, we all lose our cool on-line once in a while, just like we all lose our cool in real life once in a while. Those once-in-a-while situations don't define us, as long as most-of-the-time we're chill. But if you're edging towards losing your cool most-of-the-time, with your chill moments only once-in-a-while? then yeah, man. you're the a-hole.
The only difference is that if you do it online and not in real life, you're a coward, two-faced, or both.
The true test of a person's character is what he they do when no one is watching.
with no apologies to john wooden
Try to do a D.Urge bg3 chaotic evil run but then quit because I feel bad?
There is no division between who you pretend to be and who you are.
This is quite the nice message in view of imposter syndrome too. If you're being a kind person online then you are simply a kind person.
humans regularly put on acts. Work, love life, friends, family etc. What makes online an exception?
It isn't. People who are willing to act like assholes, in any context, are assholes. What is the criteria for being an asshole if it isn't acting like one?
I suppose notable exception for literal actors playing a role in a performance.
My toxic trait is that online I code switch to calling out bullshit instead of sitting quietly listening to nonsense
absolute lie!
I am funny when I'm online.
I've asked myself in the past, if someone found my account, would they be shocked to read what I posted? I want the answer to be no. I wouldn't want someone IRL to see my account activity and be shocked by what an asshole/troll I am on the internet. I hope that the person I am on the internet is at least as kind as I perceive myself IRL, if not kinder.
Eh.... there are abundant examples of assholes who have learned to pretend to be decent people though.
I think that's the point, if you're an asshole online, but tell yourself you're fine irl. You're lying to yourself and it shows.
I disagree with this. The issue is more nuanced than that.
Sometimes people have a bad day now and then, and sometimes a bully needs to be bullied back.
That makes sense, but it seems to support the underlying idea that your internet persona matches your actual persona. Like, those nuances and days that are exceptions to the rule happen in the real world just like online.
Denis Leary taught me how to proudly be an asshole a long time ago. Lessons worth living.
I think this is due to the person’s definition of asshole being someone who sends death threats
The term code-switching comes to mind, but it's not a perfect fit. The linguistic term talks about it more as something that people will do when they aren't able to express an idea in a specific language or dialect. The other time I here it is when talking about racial inequality, and code-switching in that context includes how one dresses, talks, behaves, etc.
In the same fashion that folks can be normal in social settings but shitty online, I've often heard that abuse happens in private because abusers only allow themselves to be abusive in private. This sounds very similar to the concept of code switching, though is almost the opposite of what it usually means. I do not know of a term for it.
Long story short, you are the ultimate decider of how you act, and you are yourself in all contexts. Take responsibility for your behavior in all contexts, because it matters in all contexts.
At the same time, though, I am a determinist who views humans as animals running off the same reward systems as any other animal, and thus equally likely to be 'unconscious' of their problematic behaviors. The seed of self control, the very idea of autonomy and personal responsibility, needs to be planted in many people. That role initially falls upon the parents, then the teachers as well, and then the individual's community. If none of that occurs, then it is no longer any small collection's duty, but the duty of society at large. So punch Nazis - you're doing them a favor.
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