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In Defense of Wasps: A Misunderstood Insect
(www.theguardian.com)
I fully understood what they were trying to do when they chased me for 5 minutes straight. I didn't provoke them or anything.
There is no misunderstanding, they are being jerks to us, even if they are a normal part of nature.
As long as they aren't near the house, I'm fine with them. But my allergic ass can't afford to let them build where they always try to, which is right at the doors.
I hate it. I mean, I'm phobic of all of the stinging insects because of the allergy and damn near dying and such, but I've come to enjoy most bees from a distance. I can even let a bumbler buzz me without pissing my pants.
But wasps and hornets? Heeelllllll no. The first time I got stung by one, my leg was swollen so bad it split, and that was in kindergarten. The second time, I couldn't breathe. So, you know, fuck wasps and hornets.
Even a honey bee puffs me up and swells my throat, but they won't mess with you just for existing. Like, we've had bees buzzing around our front porch all the time what with the planters and all. Same in the back yard, where we've planted native species with having plenty of native insects in mind. None of the regular bees mess with anyone unless there's an accident. But freaking wasps just fuck with you.
Yellow jackets in particular can fuck right off.
Once when I was mowing the lawn as a kid I accidentally stepped in a hidden hole near our garden that had a yellowjacket nest in it (yeah, the little fuckers nest in the ground). Fell over, almost broke my knee backwards because, y'know, stepped in a hole by accident. Found out about 1.8 seconds later that hole had a gorillion yellowjackets inside, when the entire nest immediately stung the piss out of me and then swarmed out of the nest to chase me across my own lawn. At this time I'm like 13 and already not a tough kid, I'm screaming, crying, blindly flailing my way back towards my house, falling over, getting up, falling over again because my leg is now made of fire, the entire time getting chased by a swarm of yellowjackets, they're getting in my hair, they're crawling under my clothes, I got stung multiple times on every fucking body part that exists. I got stung on the leg, on my face, on my chest, I got stung on my cock and balls three times by these sons of bitches and then in my infinite wisdom I crashed through the front door into my house and called for my mom to help, trailing 12,861 yellowjackets on and about my person, she was not very happy with me that day after the immediate danger was over. They got into everything. We ended up paying to bug bomb the house and I kept finding yellowjacket bodies in weird corners for the next two years.
Turns out, I'm apparently not allergic to those, because if I was I would definitely have died and even not being allergic recovery was the most intensely awful couple of weeks I've ever experienced in my life. Now, I do not fuck with the yellowjackets. I DO NOT FUCK with the yellowjackets. If I can't immediately firebomb them out of existence I will call a professional to firebomb them out of existence the same hour I discover them. Fuck 'em.
Absolutely. While I respect the hell out of them, and don't like disturbing nature, even if I wasn't allergic, I would nuke yellow jackets in my yard. Just hell no.
I'd rather deal with big hornets, because at least those you can kinda see and avoid, plus they don't swarm the same.
Wasps declared war one day when I was on our porch and suddenly I was attacked out of nowhere and stung 5 times. They're kill on sight now. No exceptions.
This is the best summary I could come up with:
It is perhaps the Marmite of the insect world, you love it or hate it but you’re never indifferent and that gives me something to work on.
A wasp queen will begin by building a cylindrical column known as a petiole which she covers in a chemical she produces to repels ants.
At full size, larvae spin a cover over their cell until they emerge into adult workers.
With enough adults fully grown, the queen can focus on reproduction and is in turn fed by the workers.
Most worker wasps will only live as adults for a few weeks but the queen will hibernate underground to lay her eggs in summer so may survive for up to a year.
Wasps navigate via geo-location of large objects, this is the reason they will often circle people as they are mapping where we are, which must be frustrating if we are moving.
The original article contains 654 words, the summary contains 150 words. Saved 77%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!
Your defence sucks
I agree but the bot did nothing wrong
this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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