I do hate them, but I'm secure enough that I don't need to make adversarialism my identity.

This is the broadest stroke I can make of it:

Conservatives decisions are based on instincts and lower brain functions like fear and hatred.

Liberals decisions are based on marginal benefit and rational decision making based on a combination of large and small scale unbiased data and historical outcomes.

There are tons of outliers and vocal minorities that break the rule, but basically a conservative thinks a liberal should face eternal punishment, while a liberal thinks they're not fit to judge a conservative.

One is a political party and one is a group of religious extremists?

My right wing uncle just yesterday posed this question in reverse oddly enough, it was a jarring conversation, soon ended when I pointed out the plentiful admittions of hateful rhetoric the right have spouted.

His information comes from YouTube personality's and I take great pleasure in researching the shit he regurgitate and showing him my finding with carefully selected source as unbiased as possible. in a way I feel sorry for the working class right winger, misguided, fueled purely by escapism and negative emotions then peddlers with skin in the game wrap them up with crazy notions of patriotism and conspiracy

Because we're better? :)

The conservative strategy has been to polarize politics in America in order to have a very aligned power. This means that if you aren't 100% behind them, then you are an enemy to them.

It is only through this that the GOP can both say that they are protecting individual freedoms but limiting or taking them away (of course opponents to this will be quick to point out the one and only counter point which is fighting against restrictions of the 2nd Amendment and only that), say that they are for smaller government but yet want private companies to be regulated that attempt to censor hate and misinformation (which has nothing to do with the 1st Amendment when it comes to non-government entities) yet still say that they are for businesses to operate as unrestricted as possible. They are anti-union because they are corrupt and take away accountability yet strongly support the worst of the worst of unions -- the police unions. The GOP constantly cries that there's a nanny government, yet they push laws to restrict people's choices, censor libraries and try to tear down citizen protections. The GOP cries that this country's deficit is out of control but when they are in power, they over spend. They complain that public schools indoctrinate but at the local and state levels attempt to indoctrinate in public schools. They talk about needing to stay in power to turn America around, yet when empowered in all three federal branches fails to pass meaningful legislation and run the government that they are overseeing and yet blame the government because they will eat each other alive for their own individual gains.

There so much more but the GOP is a party of hypocrites. Without polarization mixed with some fear mongering their party would likely cease to exist with any real power because they do not stand for the ideals that their own voting base supports.

The GOP constantly tries to create an environment of being constantly under attack and spews hate. Their voter base is simply a product of that.

Because we have elderly people in our life that we care about and they weren't monsters when we were young. Think of how much effort it would take you to objectively look at ideas your grandparents held/hold and what it says about them. I know I can't do it. I can't see my grandfather as a person who used to refer to homosexuals with a word I won't repeat. The man who took me on so many hikes and fishing trips? No way.

Now extend it. Do you really want to go through your life thinking everyone passed a certain age is a terrible person? So evil becomes misguided.

The reverse of course isn't true. No one gives a shit about a 30 year old. They ain't cute and they are starting to run stuff.

Not sure "liberals" is the right word, because it kind of encompasses all of the left, of which liberals are more center than left.

Anyway...

Because it's at odds with with our moral compass and our knowledge of how human psychology works. We believe in people's ability to learn, change, adapt, and become a better person. We see it practiced better in Europe than America, at least very often in respect to the criminal justice system, which the American version is abusive, unhelpful, and, well, conservative. On the other hand, the left thinks that even the conservatives that hate us deserve at least a bare opportunity at education and redemption. (Or at least most of the left anyway, tankies notwithstanding, of course.) We have science that supports compassion and conversion works better than abuse and ostracism. It takes a lot of fucking time and effort. A lot more than many would say they're worth, and I get that, but it doesn't mean it's impossible.

We don't hate them the same way because we're not in a brainwashed cult like they are. While a lot of them may be too far gone, not all of them are, and as things spin out of control in the conservative world, increasing numbers of them are starting to question what they're backing. It's part of why the crowds protesting for Trump have slowly dwindled to pathetic numbers and have gotten increasingly strange and unhinged. Only the true believers are left, and their numbers are already dwindling in terms of those willing to come out and risk it for Trump.

Even when understanding the Paradox of Tolerance, you'd be hard pressed to find large numbers of leftists who think the best solution is the same kind of senseless eradication of the enemy that conservatives want. You'd find a large number of them who increasingly want to be armed and prepared if they are attacked by violent conservatives, but far fewer that want to be the one to fire the first shot in such a war.

Also, as to a counterpoint, I don't know many leftists who don't hate cops. Cops are pretty much universally conservative thugs and universally hated by everyone on the left.

Assuming that you used "liberals" to refer colloquially to the American left wing and "conservatives" to mean the right...

You do see the inverse. You see it in this thread: Calling conservatives rats, saying they don't have morals. I just read all the current answers, and less than a third of them made any attempts to understand those on the right instead of othering them.

I honestly don't think there's much of a difference between these groups. Both have lots of people hating the guts of another group. And both are substantially radical in views. This all is just crazy