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submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by InevitableSwing@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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[-] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 39 points 5 months ago

God conservative grifts are so fucking easy

[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 25 points 5 months ago

I can think of a few funny scenarios to come out of this.

Customer: "Ok, so with 15% tip that comes to-"

Audible cocking of a revolver

Customer: "Sorry I misspoke, so with 50% tip that comes to-"

[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 22 points 5 months ago

In a better world:

Assistant: "Uhh, sir? A bunch of the drivers are outside demanding a dental plan and stock options"

CEO: "Too bad, they're contractors and not employees, have security escort them out"

Assistant: "Sir, security is refusing to touch this one. They're all armed to the teeth. One of the, erm, contractors is open carrying a Barrett .50 Calibre sniper rifle and is pointing it at your portrait in the lobby mouthing the words "pew pew pew" repeatedly while miming the motion of recoil on the gun"

CEO: "...actually their demands are perfectly reasonable"

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 38 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)
[-] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago

I was curious so I went and took a few security guard practice tests online. The worst score I got was an 85%. They're mostly basic questions about taking notes, placing people under a citizen's arrest, when it's appropriate to unholster a weapon, whether or not you should impersonate a cop, or fire extinguisher use. I genuinely think the only way to fail is if you're answering blatantly wrong questions like "shoot him in the face" or "scream at any teenager that approaching on your side of the street is a felony" or "tell them that you're a police officer and will arrest them" or "throw the fire extinguisher into the fire."

[-] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

Wow he’s just like Xi Jinping who failed the party exam 6 times

[-] Rojo27@hexbear.net 27 points 5 months ago

In you there are two rideshare apps. One is Blackwolf, the other is Uber.

[-] Krause@lemmygrad.ml 25 points 5 months ago

why tf would i want the driver to have a gun?

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

To protect you from... You know... Them.

[-] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

So they can blast your eardrums when someone cuts them off and the driver decided to shoot his windshield out from inside at 75 MPH

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 22 points 5 months ago

If someone with a gun enters your car, they’re gonna kill you

i think willingly and knowingly getting into a stranger who is armed's car is pretty fucking close to this

[-] EnsignRedshirt@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago
[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago

Add an ELO system and now that’s a badass idea

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

"You've reached your final destination"

"But we're I the middle of the woods, I wanted to go downt-"

[-] Sickos@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

Time to steal some identities then steal some guns, I guess.

Seriously, bets on how long until the first video one one of these guys getting robbed shows up?

[-] buh@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

Whoever came up with this is the type of guy who plays cyberpunk 2077 and thinks "this all looks so cool, I wish I lived here but without the fancy technology"

[-] Thordros@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

Didn't this dude try this last year?

[-] ksynwa_from_lemmygrad@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago
[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

It's a Bluesky web client. Some (many?) Bluesky accounts force a log-in to see posts.

this post was submitted on 30 May 2024
84 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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