TIL I should be a landscaper.

My two cents is plant fruit trees that will do well in your area. Or get goats. Or half and half.

1. Grow weed
2. ???
3. What was I saying?

Put a fence around it and label it a local insect and wildlife habitat.

It's low effort and you get self-righteous environmental points.

Plant a food forest and let nature do the rest.

Edit: https://projectfoodforest.org/what-is-a-food-forest/

Raised beds for planting food, which surely will be cheaper than buying food. Right?

Why can't you design the landscape? Corner blobs flowing into side blobs and then a smokeless fire pit on a brick or paver patio in the middle or a corner, pergola over top of you want. Slap a tree in the middle of the fattest parts of the blobs, bushes around those, and then link between those with flowers, then you put ornamental grasses where blobs meet, and finally a bunch of small flowers that you will have to buy every fucking year just so your bitch of an ex-wife and her retail manager boyfriend can enjoy the backyard that you put in blood, sweat, and tears to afford.

Could always get a chicken coop. Chickens are fun, they poop food and fertilizer that is great for nitrogen heavy greens and vegetables. I'd probably do chickens and a food garden. You wouldn't really be able to do anything until next year, so you have time to save and do research. Start small though, having a half acre of crops can be a bit much to go all in on your first year.

How about a butterfly garden? That is low maintenance and the cost is fairly reasonable if you can't find a local org that helps supply the seeds.

• stop using weedkiller and insecticide – save a little money and save your own health
• add in inoculated clover seeds – “inoculated” adds in bacteria that makes the nitrogen more available to other plants – pick a clover that is relatively native to your area – up until WWII and the proliferation of modern weedkillers, healthy lawns were a mix of grass and clover
• leave the dandelions alone – ALL parts of a dandelion are edible – the leaves are a classic bitter green (goes really well with a dressing made from walnut oil, mustard, and balsamic vinegar) – roasted roots used to be a coffee substitute – early buds can be pickled as an alternative to capers – and yes, dandelion wine is actually a thing
• throw in lots of native flowers – attracts the pollinators that keep the rest of your garden going strong
• if you must mow, don’t mow shorter than 6 in / 15 cm – encourages stronger, more robust growth
  • take up scything instead of mowing for personal exercise

edible acres 👍

Look into Miyawaki forests

watch some Monty Don videos, define some spaces.

I don't know exactly where you live but Praire Moon Nursery, my favorite midwest native plant store, has wonderful seed mixes. You can just cut low and overseed if you don't want to do anything. They recommend mowing over for the first few years anyhow and should survive and thrive for periodic mowing.

If you want to go crazy I recommend building something on it but that is more work. You can even start with a native meadow and replace it with fruit trees etc. If this is what you want to do to create a Food Forest I recommend Gaia's Garden for an intro into permaculture and maximize productivity for the land

Letting neighbours cows feed on it

My vote is for a pocket forest, if you have the means!

Eat it.

Buy goats and make them eat it.

Feed it to your mom.

Pick one.

Shit and piss on it