If you are to the point where you are asking strangers on the Internet if you should stay or go, I think you know your answer.
After kids? After kids are born? After kids move out? Are you expected to be the sole provider for the entire family until then? What job will they get without having finished their degree?
It's extremely common for people to struggle finishing their degree, especially when they question their viability in the job market. You two are partners in this, and if they expect you to provide for them, then there needs to be a conversation about expectations. If you love them, talk about what they want out of life, what they want to do as a career, and whether they are studying what they want or if it's just stalling getting a job.
This doesn't have to be the end of the relationship if you want to make it work. But it is a major red flag if they expect you to pick up their financial slack.
After kids are in school. They're expecting full support during the whole first years of kids.
So, you're thinking 5 years before school, plus another year of pregnancy, and you said "kids" plural, so add another two years between them, and you're not married yet. That's like 10 years before your partner gets a job, and you're paying for everything?
My advice is to run for your life.
I think that's how my family feels as well.
Are you having two fiances? Why do you say they? Is it to not show gender?
I think it's funny how it becomes intentionally confusing and unclear who you are talking about. :)
Are you having two fiances?
"Do you have two fiances?"*
Are you having
Yeah maybe you're not the most qualified to poke at the writing of others.
What do they say when you raise these concerns with them in a constructive manner?
Cry and make excuses.
Are they receiving therapy? They may have depression, anxiety, ADHD, or something similar going on. These all make it hard to achieve one's goals even when the intention/desire is there.
They do have ADHD and is medicated. I know it can be an impediment and try to support them. I'm not sure how much longer I can be OK with little to no progress.
Just because something is medicated doesn't mean it's cured or not impacting them. There are no magic pills for mental health / disorders.
Oh I agree. I struggle with depression and anxiety myself. But, I try really hard to keep my shit together, even when I feel terrible. I don't feel like she's putting in the same effort.
Don't compare who has it worse. Everyone goes through it differently. Be supportive, not angry.
Clearly your partner is going to be a house spouse, and maybe will pick up a hobby job at some point in the future, but not one with any stress or time lines.
Are you ok with being the sole provider long term?
If not, then you might want to find another partner. If yes, then make peace with your spouse's ambitions yet inability to execute.
I'm not ok with that. It's just not really feasible to live off one income these days.
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