How does one defederate from that which is not yet federated?

I think you're probably best shutting "your" subs and moving anyway - if you want to dictate how a server runs, you're probably better off hosting your own instance. I'm not sure we need people in the fediverse who thinks a moderator owns a community - it's just the other extreme from Reddit's attitude that they own a community.

I happen to agree with defederating, but I don't like threats and the idea of blackmail to a community.

Good luck! And don't wait for so long, delete right now.

Two thoughts:

1. So there's a bit of talk about Threads being a mastodon/microblogging type platform and so it doesn't matter. This is somewhat wrong. Lemmy federates in a certain way with microblogging platforms such that two-way communication can and does occur between such platforms. However likely it is, when Threads turns on their federation they will be able to subscribe/follow and post to lemmy communities.
2. Picking a server/instance on the basis of its moderations issues is basically the first idea or utility behind decentralisation. So ... umm ... continue on your merry way ... this is the point. I know lemmy.ml has definitely defederated already.

As much as I hate meta and hate the idea of threads federating with us, ultimately you should be able to find or create an instance that aligns with your idea of defeding with them. I would ultimately want the admin of my instance to side with the majority of users rather than drag users kicking and screaming into following their lead.

Besides, if you truly wanted more control over your web experience, we should be more decentralized. Like what the hell are we all doing on the same instance, and being shocked that the decisions of a small group of people is going to affect so many of us. Like we were all encouraged to join smaller instances or make our own precisely for this reason. Like hypothetically, if every popular community was in its own instance, rather than centralized around world, ml, beehaw and kbin, Meta federating with us would not be a big deal. Every community would be able to decide whether they wanted to associate with them or not, and we would be too spread out for it to be worth Meta's while.

Maybe this should be a wake up call for some of ya'll. Spread out and take your own actions, rather than wait for the big instances' admins to act for you.