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Overthinking and its annoying me. Liking someone who lives in a different country (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) by Kash91@lemmy.world to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world
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Hey,

so this is my first post on Lemmy, as I have decided to leave reddit.

M33 liking someone who lives in a different country F28 (not that far away with an airplane).

I am sick of dating apps where I live, so I have decided to download dating apps where you get matched with others, but they live in different countries.

So I have matched with this girl, and we have been talking for 2 days straight non stop, including sending tons of voice note.

Now I am the kind of person who could like another person very fast, especially if we get along really well, and she is the only person from this app that I got along very well.

I am trying to think rational about it, if this would ever workout or not. Although my feelings want it to work out, but there are some situations where I cannot see her very soon. One of the situations is that at the moment I am jobless and I am looking for a job.

Although we have been getting along very well, I am afraid that what we have might die soon because just talking to eachother on whatsapp or something is never enough for me. It is very important that I meet people to get a sense if this would work out or not, also doing activities and so on.....

I am overthinking too much of how things could work out, although I dont know how things could work out to be honest......whenever I have this feeling of liking someone, my brain just goes crazy. If I start not having any subjects to talk about with her, I am afraid of saying something so stupid that could ruin everything.

I know its been only 2 days and I might be overreacting, but unfortunately I am a very emotional guy.......what can I do?

I might just need a slap on my face from one of you to wake up lol

P.s. Sorry if my post is confusing....

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[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 13 points 4 weeks ago

If you don't have any way to meet each other in the foreseeable future, I don't see this going anywhere. Quite frankly, that's something you might have thought about before getting on this app.

[-] Num10ck@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago

'geographically undesirable' is a very real thing. however it can be overcome. are you willing to uproot your life and move over to her world? does she have room in her life for you? or is this just a fling dream? if you arent able to afford to travel, stop trying the dating apps for other countries you silly bastard.

[-] Sundial@lemm.ee 5 points 4 weeks ago

Sounds like you're just going to have to settle for video calls until you're able to meet up.

[-] anamethatisnt@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

You could always find some nice online cooperative game to play together, should give you stuff to talk about. Or choose to read the same book at the same time and talk about the latest chapter. Or use one of all those "watch tv together apart" sites that was created during covid. Or follow the same recipe and eat dinner together. With a little creativity you can do quite a lot of activities together apart.
What I wouldn't do is agree to be in a relationship with someone you've never met, or loan them money for that matter.

[-] jmicz3d@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 3 weeks ago

Or follow their investment advice. That's how most of these modern romance scams are working. Absolutely do not invest in anything on their recommendation, especially crypto.

[-] Cpo@lemm.ee 2 points 3 weeks ago

Although unimaginable to me (who would send money to someone you dont know?) it needs attention.

Thank you!

[-] fuckingkangaroos@lemm.ee 2 points 3 weeks ago

I suspect its more like "hey, wow you're so sexy, I'm a 25 yo girl who's always lonely and horny, you should invest in this crypto!!"

Some whale wants to pump and dump a shit coin, like I think Musk did with Dogecoin, so they look for some gullible future bag holders to "invest"

[-] jmicz3d@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 3 weeks ago

A lot of time they skip the pump and dump and just have you invest through really cleverly disguised fake exchanges and take the money outright.

The modern "pig slaughtering" scams are insanely involved, sometimes going months before the actual scam hits.

[-] jmicz3d@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 3 weeks ago

They hit people when they are lonely, and then usually invest a lot of time to convince the victims that they do know each other. Brings the guard down.

The big new innovation is that they don't try to get the victim to send the money to them. Usually they talk about how successful their investments have been and try to get the victim to join the scheme, but it's either a fake crypto exchange or some other type of scheme.

It's wild how effective they can be. I've even heard account's of them getting money put of cybersecurity professionals.

Stay safe out there.

[-] Lazycog@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 weeks ago

Long distance relationship is something I will never recommend to anyone unless you can either afford to meet-up regularly without it putting a strain on you financially, you are okay with heart break (no one I've met has been), or you met, matched and spent time irl before it becomes long distance.

My personal advice based on your post alone: don't do it (but be nice about it).

Long distance was the worst emotional rollercoaster I've been through, and this is coming from someone who had a "successful long distance story" and are still together since moving in together.

But I know that that's not how our hearts work, so hoping you'll get that job soon and save up enough for a visit!

this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
12 points (80.0% liked)

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