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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Torosta on 2023-09-16 18:29:24.


I was diagnosed with breast cancer last December. After a bunch of tests, the decision I chose was to have a double mastectomy with direct to implant reconstruction. My husband was all set to be my caregiver for the weeks that followed my surgery, yet ended up hurting his back the day before. He suggested that I call my mom and ask her to come (she lives in another city, about 6 hours away).

Ensue panic on my part.

Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue but the kicker here is that my mom was also diagnosed with breast cancer in January of this year. She is 70 years old and has completed radiation but her fatigue is strong.

My MIL lives in the same city as my mom and the original intention was (before my husband hurt his back) that she was going to meet my husband halfway between our city and her city to pick up our daughter and take to her for the week. This way my daughter wouldn’t have to see me sore after surgery and so that my husband could devote his time to caring for me.

Now that my husband hurt his back, I called my mom, who then called my MIL to tell her the situation. My MIL offered to drive my mom all the way here so she could care for me and then my MIL would help my husband with his back and watch our daughter (she’s 8).

Well, she drives here with my mom and I’m finally relieved because I was really nervous that I was going to need to cancel my surgery if I couldn’t get someone to come help me. Especially since my surgery was the following day.

Suffice to say, that day before I was a complete wreck. I was scared for my surgery and I was also worried because my daughter was now going to be home. I just didn’t want her to be scared or worried about me. My MIL and mom arrived fairly late, and I had the be at the hospital at 6am so I went to bed.

I get up next day, husband drives my mom and I to the hospital and I have my surgery. It’s outpatient so I went home later same day and found out my MIL had left. Apparently she ‘thought it was best to leave’ because I had not acknowledged her nor thanked her for bringing my mom — and I made her feel like a ‘cab driver’. So this left my mom to care for me, but no one to watch daughter and help my husband. She was also my mom’s ride home.

I was livid at her and I feel like our relationship is irreparably broken. My husband was not too upset about any of this.

AITA for not immediately thanking her or acknowledging her good deed? Really need some insight!

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this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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